Dear Queenie,
My husband and I are retired, but he still stays in touch with some of the people he used to work with, mostly women, and he flirts a lot with the women.
He says it doesn’t mean anything and he never would actually do anything more than flirt, but I really have to wonder why these young women find an old man so attractive – it’s not as if we’re rich or anything like that – and whether I really can trust him with them.
Queenie, should I be worried?—Doubtful
Dear Doubtful,
That depends on where this flirting takes place and how far it goes. If the flirting is all by text message and/or e-mail and your husband does not see these young women when you are not present, I do not think you have anything to worry about. Probably he is flattered by their attention and they are being “charitable” to an old man.
But if he is sneaking around and getting together with them behind your back, that is something else.
Dear Queenie,
My husband insists he wants us to have children, but I'm not sure sure I do. I'm not that interested in children and I don't think he really is either. I have noticed that when children are around he just ignores them or goes somewhere else. He says it would be different if they were his own, but I'm not so sure.
I think he just wants to prove how much of a man he is by getting me pregnant, but then I'm the one who will have to carry the baby for 9 months with all the problems of pregnancy, and then go through all the hassle of caring for a new baby and then a toddler and eventually coping with a teenager.
Queenie, will I change my mind once I get pregnant, like he says? And will he be different with his own children?—Doubtful
Dear Doubtful,
It is possible you will change your mind and he will change his ways, but you should not count on it. If you are not absolutely certain about all this, do yourself and them a favour and do not bring unwanted children into the world.
Professional counselling might help both of you sort out your feelings. And in this case I recommend you insist your husband go with you. Tell him there is not a snowball's chance in hell of your getting pregnant unless he does (and maybe not even then, but do not tell him that).
Dear Queenie,
Have noticed that a woman parks her car in front of my house at night and goes to the back door of my neighbours’ house. After a while I see her leave by the front door and I see the husband kiss her goodbye.
Obviously there is some kind of monkey business going on right under the wife’s nose, while she is right there in the house.
Queenie, should I tell the wife about it, and if so, should I tell her face-to-face or maybe leave an anonymous letter in her mailbox?—Nosy neighbour
Dear Nosy neighbour,
If the wife is at home while the visitor is there, she cannot help but know what is going on and apparently whatever it is has her blessing, or at least her consent.
For all you know, the visitor is simply a close relative – “kissing kin,” as they say. Or perhaps your neighbours like to indulge in a threesome.
Whatever is going on over there, you should mind your own business. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a very embarrassing position.
Dear Queenie,
My husband insists he wants us to have children, but I'm not sure sure I do. I'm not that interested in children and I don't think he really is either. I have noticed that when children are around he just ignores them or goes somewhere else. He says it would be different if they were his own, but I'm not so sure.
I think he just wants to prove how much of a man he is by getting me pregnant, but then I'm the one who will have to carry the baby for 9 months with all the problems of pregnancy, and then go through all the hassle of caring for a new baby and then a toddler and eventually coping with a teenager.
Queenie, will I change my mind once I get pregnant, like he says? And will he be different with his own children?—Doubtful
Dear Doubtful,
It is possible you will change your mind and he will change his ways, but you should not count on it. If you are not absolutely certain about all this, do yourself and them a favour and do not bring unwanted children into the world.
Professional counselling might help both of you sort out your feelings. And in this case I recommend you insist your husband go with you. Tell him there is not a snowball's chance in hell of your getting pregnant unless he does (and maybe not even then, but do not tell him that).
Dear Queenie,
Have noticed that a woman parks her car in front of my house at night and goes to the back door of my neighbours’ house. After a while I see her leave by the front door and I see the husband kiss her goodbye.
Obviously there is some kind of monkey business going on right under the wife’s nose, while she is right there in the house.
Queenie, should I tell the wife about it, and if so, should I tell her face-to-face or maybe leave an anonymous letter in her mailbox?—Nosy neighbour
Dear Nosy neighbour,
If the wife is at home while the visitor is there, she cannot help but know what is going on and apparently whatever it is has her blessing, or at least her consent.
For all you know, the visitor is simply a close relative – “kissing kin,” as they say. Or perhaps your neighbours like to indulge in a threesome.
Whatever is going on over there, you should mind your own business. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a very embarrassing position.
