Dear Queenie,
My husband and I always talked about having children. He always said we should have them right away because he is so much older than I am. But I had some problems getting pregnant and now he says he has changed his mind and doesn’t want children after all.
When I got upset about this he said he would be dead soon enough and then I could find someone younger and have children with him.
Queenie, what do you make of this? Was he lying to me all along?—Childless in SXM
Dear Childless,
It could be that he was lying to you about having children, and if that is the case you have some serious thinking to do. Counselling might help you sort out your (and his) feelings on the subject.
However, I have to wonder what he meant about being “dead soon enough.” Does he have some medical problem that he has not told you about? This is something that needs to be sorted out before you even consider getting pregnant, lest you find yourself coping with an invalid husband and an infant at the same time.
