Dear Queenie,
My wife died some time ago and there’s this woman I had an affair with a long time ago whose husband is now in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s. She stayed with him to try to make up for the affair and I’ve been told she goes to visit him every day even though he doesn’t even recognise her anymore.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to get in touch with her? Maybe send her a sympathy card? I still have feelings for her and maybe she feels the same about me.—Lonely widower
Dear Lonely widower,
Apparently your old flame is still in love with her husband and still trying to make amends for cheating on him so long ago. It would be okay to send a sympathy card, but not to take things any further. You will know from her response, if any, how she feels about you.
Dear Queenie,
My wife cheated on me with a family friend and lied to everybody about how I mistreated her and they believed her.
We got divorced and she married the guy she cheated with and they won’t even let me see my children.
I can’t stand it here anymore, but if I move away I will lose my job and all contact with my kids.
Queenie, what should I do?—All alone
Dear All alone,
If you move away your children might feel abandoned. At least if you are here they will know you are trying to see them and perhaps with legal help you can force your ex to let you do so. I hope you will consider their feelings when you make your final decision.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I used to give parties for all our friends on holidays and other special occasions, but they never entertained us in any way, not even for a backyard barbecue or snacks at a fast food place.
Now that we are older it’s not so easy for us to throw big parties the way we used to and we never see most of those friends anymore and we miss them.
Queenie, have we done something wrong?—Lonely senior citizens
Dear Lonely senior citizens,
As you grew older, so did your friends. It would be just as hard for them to throw a big party as it now is for you, and they may feel ashamed that they cannot entertain you on the same scale as you did them.
Why not invite them over for drinks or snacks, or out to a restaurant or fast food place, just one or two at a time and see how they respond.
You also might consider joining a senior citizens group – you might even find that that is where all your friends have gone.
Dear Queenie,
My wife cheated on me with a family friend and lied to everybody about how I mistreated her and they believed her.
We got divorced and she married the guy she cheated with and they won’t even let me see my children.
I can’t stand it here anymore, but if I move away I will lose my job and all contact with my kids.
Queenie, what should I do?—All alone
Dear All alone,
If you move away your children might feel abandoned. At least if you are here they will know you are trying to see them and perhaps with legal help you can force your ex to let you do so. I hope you will consider their feelings when you make your final decision.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I used to give parties for all our friends on holidays and other special occasions, but they never entertained us in any way, not even for a backyard barbecue or snacks at a fast food place.
Now that we are older it’s not so easy for us to throw big parties the way we used to and we never see most of those friends anymore and we miss them.
Queenie, have we done something wrong?—Lonely senior citizens
Dear Lonely senior citizens,
As you grew older, so did your friends. It would be just as hard for them to throw a big party as it now is for you, and they may feel ashamed that they cannot entertain you on the same scale as you did them.
Why not invite them over for drinks or snacks, or out to a restaurant or fast food place, just one or two at a time and see how they respond.
You also might consider joining a senior citizens group – you might even find that that is where all your friends have gone.
