Dear Queenie,
My best friend has been planning her wedding for months now and right at the beginning she asked me to be her maid of honour and I said “yes.” I have already bought the dress and made reservations for the trip to where she is getting married.
Last week my sister got engaged and when she started talking about choosing a wedding date I told her what date I would be off-island because I had made a commitment to be in my friend’s wedding.
Now my mother tells me my sister has decided to get married on the same day as my friend and wants me to be her maid of honour.
Queenie, how do I choose?—Pulled 2 ways
Dear Pulled,
I have to wonder why your sister chose that date even after you had warned her that you would be away, and why you had to hear from your mother about the date and that your sister wanted you to be her maid of honour. Why did sister not tell you herself? And if she does not speak to you, why would she want you in her wedding party?
In my book your first obligation is to your friend. If your sister has a problem with that, remind her that you specifically warned her before she chose a wedding date that you would be unavailable on the date she eventually selected and, if only to keep peace in the family (if that is even a possibility), thank her for her offer.
