Dear Queenie,
My aunt is very sick and probably will die soon. She is one of the meanest people I know and a couple of her children are just like her, although I get along just fine with the others.
Queenie, my question is this: When she dies, I have no feelings about paying my “respects” because I have no respect for her at all, but should I go to her funeral anyway for the sake of her children that I do like?—Can’t decide
Dear Can’t decide,
Attendance at a funeral is more to express sympathy for the living than admiration for the deceased. By all means go, if only to give what comfort you can to those you do care about. As for the others, “if you cannot say something nice, say nothing at all.”
