Dear Queenie,
I got divorced several years ago after being married for almost 10 years. However, my parents still think of my ex as part of the family and invite him to all family gatherings. I think she is trying to pretend we are still married and is disrespecting my feelings.
Now Christmas is coming up and she will invite my ex even though I will be bringing my boyfriend that I have been with for almost 2 years.
Queenie, how can I get my mother to accept that things have changed and I have moved on?—Disrespected daughter
Dear Disrespected,
If you had children with your ex he is still part of their family and therefore (a distant) part of yours, and your mother seems to acknowledge this by not cutting him off from them.
However, has he not also moved on? Perhaps he will bring a date or a “significant other” to the Christmas celebrations, which should get the message across to your mother if she has not already gotten it. You might even suggest to him that he do so.
And by all means bring your boyfriend to family events, to give your parents a chance to get to know him.
