Dear Queenie,

I am pregnant with my first child and my best friend is planning a baby shower for me. I heard that she is not only inviting all our girl-friends and -relatives, but also some men.

Queenie, is this proper?—Baby Etty Ket

Dear Queenie,

I want my boyfriend that I met in college to meet my parents and he is planning to visit me in St. Maarten next summer.

He does not have any relatives here and he does not have a lot of money to spare and my parents have a guest bedroom so I thought he should stay at our house in the guest bedroom, but my father says it would not be proper for us to be staying in the same house.

Queenie, is my father right? He says he will abide by whatever you say is correct.—Visiting Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

I see nothing wrong with your boyfriend staying in a separate bedroom in the same house as you, as long as there is no sneaking around when everyone else is asleep.

If your father does not trust you and your boyfriend to abide by that rule, he could lock one of you up at night, which might be dangerous in case of a fire, or he could put a burglar alarm on your bedroom door or lock you into a chastity belt if he can find one – but all of these ideas seem rather extreme.

I really think your father should lighten up and show some confidence in your and your boyfriend’s sense of propriety.

Dear Queenie,

There is this couple my husband and I have been friends with for a while. The wife and I are very close friends, the husbands not so much so.

Recently when they were leaving our house after an evening together my husband and the wife happened to walk out to the car ahead of me and the husband and suddenly he grabbed me and hugged me very tight with his hand on my backside and I had to push him away very hard. He just laughed and said he wanted to see what I would do.

We haven’t seen them since and I haven’t said anything to my husband about it.

Queenie, how should I handle this? I do not want to spoil my friendship with the wife.—Flustered

Dear Queenie,

I’ve been dating a girl for several months and now she is pushing me for us to move in together, but I’m just not interested in a closer relationship. In fact, I’m ready to break up with her completely, but when I even start to talk about not seeing each other, or at least dating other people too she gets all upset and starts talking all sorts of foolishness.

Queenie, how do I get her to let go of me?—Trapped

Dear Trapped,

It is not going to be easy, and you cannot do it by “letting her down easy,” so be prepared for an emotional outburst (or two or three or more!). The old line “It’s not you, it’s me” applies here, for whatever good it will do you.

You will have to tell her the truth, as often as necessary until she gets the message. And be prepared with lots of patience – and Kleenex.