Dear Queenie,
Last year my husband and I and our two teenagers went to visit my mother during summer vacation. Now she thinks we should do this every year, but there are other places we want to go and we only have just so many vacation days.
Then Mom said why not just send the kids to visit her during their summer vacation, which would give us sort of a vacation even if we didn’t have time off from work, and we could use our vacation days to go somewhere we might not want to take the kids, but my husband isn’t keen on letting the kids go alone.
Queenie, do you think this is a good idea?—Protective mother
Dear Mother,
Assuming your mother is capable of taking proper care of the children, yes. And if they are too young to travel alone, take them to your mother’s home, drop them off with her and go on to enjoy your vacation – honeymoon-style – without them. I am sure the children will equally enjoy a vacation with their grandmother without you hovering over them.
Dear Queenie,
My husband dotes on our daughter, but it seems there is nothing our son can do that he approves of. He says he isn’t going to coddle our son because he has to learn to “man up” but I think the way he treats him is nothing less than abusive.
Our son says things aren’t that bad, but our daughter says it scares her the way her father talks to her brother.
Queenie, what can I do?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
You can get professional help. Talk to your son’s school counsellor, if he has one, or perhaps your family doctor can recommend someone. The doctor also can determine whether this treatment is having an adverse effect on your children’s health, such as stress or even ulcers, and may recommend treatment, even counselling for them – which might turn out to be a wake-up call for your husband.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I do not like his family very much, but they seem to be fond of us, because they call every so often, send us Christmas cards and gift and so on.
The problem is he refuses to have anything to do with them, so I get stuck answering the phone and making excuses why he can’t talk to them, sending “thank you” notes, etc, etc.
Queenie, how can I get him to step up and deal with them?—Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
As long as you cover for your husband things will not change. If you want him to deal with his family you will have to stop doing it for him. And if they ask you why the sudden change, tell them to ask him if they can manage to get his attention.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and he is vexed because I will get to parade down the aisle escorted by my father while he just stands at the altar waiting for me. I tried to explain to him that this is traditional, but he’s still jealous of all the attention I will be getting.
Any suggestions, Queenie?—Bride-to-be
Dear Bride-to-be,
Will your fiancé (bridegroom) also throw a tantrum if the piece of wedding cake you feed him at the reception is not as big as the one he feeds you? He seems rather childish to me.
Why not have his parents walk him down the aisle to the altar before you make your grand entrance? And if that makes him look like he has to be hustled up to the ceremony, well, he asked for it!
Dear Queenie,
I’m not a “party person.” I don’t like large gatherings of people I don’t know very well where there’s a lot of drinking and loud music and such. I prefer to go out once in a while with one or two friends to a quiet restaurant where we can have a nice conversation without having to shout at each other. The rest of the time I’d rather be by myself, read a book or watch TV.
My sister says this makes me antisocial.
Queenie, is she right?—Introvert
Dear Introvert,
Some people just prefer peace and quiet to the party scene and apparently you are such a person. That does not mean you are antisocial. Your sister is way off-base.
