Dear Queenie,
My fiancé and I both were on our own for years before we met and when we moved in together we had 2 of a lot things so we gave the stuff we didn’t need to a service group for their flea market.
Now we are getting married later this year and we have sent out the invitations. We keep telling people that we have everything we need and instead of giving us gifts we would rather they make a donation to their favourite charity, but some of them still insist they have to give something to us, there must be something we need.
Queenie, how do I get them to listen to me?—Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
Repeat your request – politely – as often as necessary. For those who still ignore it, you always can donate their gifts to your favourite service group for their flea market as you did before, with or without telling the givers what you did with them. But be sure to send every gift-giver of either sort a nice thank-you note.
Dear Queenie,
There’s this boy I’ve known since we were small because our mothers are best friends. We are friends, but just friends, nothing romantic. In fact, I have a boyfriend and we are thinking about getting engaged
The problem is that his mother thinks I am just perfect for him and keeps trying to get us together as more than friends. She even has said she would love to see us get married.
Queenie, how do I get her to lay off this subject without being rude?—Not interested that way
Dear Queenie,
My wife cheated on me. She admitted it and I forgave her, but I can’t get it out of my mind.
I am not in love with her anymore and I’m only staying with her because of our children, but I’m getting more and more unhappy.
Queenie, should I stay in a marriage that no longer makes me happy or should I just give up and leave, and if so when?—Cuckolded
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been invited to a wedding, but the bride told me that since I’m not in a committed relationship with anyone I cannot bring a date. I will know some of the people there but not very many and most of them are in the bridal party so they won’t be sitting with the other guests.
Queenie, isn’t this rather rude?—Wedding Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
No. The “plus one” option is up to the host of any event.
Instead of being miffed about this restriction, look at the occasion as an opportunity to catch up with the people you do know and to meet up with some new ones.
Perhaps being unattached will even prove to be an advantage if you happen to meet an attractive person of the opposite gender – who also will not have a “plus one” in tow.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter who just graduated high school this year has been dating a man for a couple of years and now she is planning to move in with him instead of going to university.
This guy is not qualified for anything but low-paying jobs and even them he can’t hold onto because he is just plain lazy. There is no way he can support her and without a degree she will not be able to get a good job either. And what if she gets pregnant?
Queenie, how can we convince her she is making a big mistake?—Worried mother
Dear Worried,
I would be willing to bet that part of this man’s attraction for your daughter is that you do not like him – teenage rebellion at its worst.
Do not talk to her about him, or tell her she is making a mistake.
Instead, ask her how she will manage financially. Make it clear to her that if she moves in with this man she is on her own and you will not support her any longer.
Talk to her about her job prospects and earning ability without a degree. Show her how to budget what income she may have. Ask her what she will do if she gets pregnant – how she will get along financially if she cannot work and/or how she will be able to take care of a child and work at the same time – or how she plans to ensure that she does not have children.
And cross your fingers and pray that she is able to look at her future realistically.
