Dear Queenie,
I have never had a boyfriend but there is this guy in my class that I like and I think he is interested in me too but I don’t know what to do about it.
Queenie, do I let him know how I feel or keep it a secret and hope he makes the first move?—Inexperienced
Dear Inexperienced,
Talk to him when you get a chance, maybe eat lunch with him, ask his advice about your homework or some subject of mutual interest and see if you get to be friends with him. If that happens, keep it up and see if it develops into something more. But do not chase him too hard, or you might scare him off.
Dear Queenie,
I know my girlfriend dated other guys before me and thinking about what she did with them bothers me, but when I try to talk to her about it she gets upset. I’m trying not to think about it, but I just can’t get the thoughts out of my mind.
Queenie, am I wrong to be bothered about this?—Uptight
Dear Uptight,
You are not wrong to be bothered by the idea, but it is a big mistake to keep trying to talk to your girlfriend about it. How would you like it if she kept bringing up the subject of your previous girlfriends?
Let the subject go, and if you have trouble doing so, talk to a professional counsellor about it, not your girlfriend.
Dear Queenie,
Three Sundays ago I went with my boyfriend deep sea fishing. Nice adventure, we thought, not really knowing what to expect.
They caught a Blue Marlin (3.2-meter). So horrible. That fish was fighting for his life for 40 minutes on the hook. They didn’t want to cut the line. It was like killing a human. Going in their territories and killing them just to sell the huge fish for $1,900 to a S' Bay restaurant. They should go jail for this.
Queenie, is there a way to stop these cruel killings?—Adventure went horror
Dear Horrified,
I understand your feelings, but really, I have to ask you: What did you expect? The whole purpose of such an excursion is to catch a fish. Did you think that if they caught a fish the fish would give up without a fight? That if they caught a fish and it resisted the fishermen would just let it go?
The only way to stop this kind of event is for everyone to stop going on such excursions, stop eating fish at restaurants and stop buying fish-meat in supermarkets – and you know as well as I do, that is not going to happen.
Dear Queenie,
My mother always complains that she does not receive thank-you notes from my children when she gives them gifts, but never once have we received such a note from her when we gave her anything or did something for her.
Queenie, shouldn’t she be setting a good example before she complains?—Thank-you Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Of course she should! You might point this out to her then next time she complains (for whatever good it will do). Meanwhile, make sure you are setting the good example she is not, and keep after your children to do what is right no matter how Grandma behaves.
Dear Queenie,
My next-door neighbour is always asking to borrow something – food items, paper towels, even money, but she almost never returns anything she borrows and if she does it’s way later than she promised. And she asks me to look after her pets when she goes away even for just a day.
Queenie, I have a limited income and better things to do with my time. What is a polite way to say “no” to her?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
I see no reason to be particularly polite to someone who is trying to take advantage of you, but if you cannot bring yourself to give her an emphatic refusal, why not try charging her – up front! – for whatever she wants.
If it is a cup of sugar or a roll of paper towels, the price tag from the grocery store should be on the package and you can insist on payment at that moment, just as the store would do. As for looking after her pets, she would have to pay a stranger to look after them, so figure out what you time is worth to you and insist on payment in advance for your services.
Either you will be properly compensated for your trouble or she will stop making demands on you – win-win.
