Dear Queenie,
My brother has a kind of cancer that eventually will kill him and when someone asks me how is he, I tell them he is dying of cancer. Then my parents get upset and say it sounds like I want to get rid of him.
Queenie, the plain fact is that he’s going to die and it’s the cancer that will kill him. What’s wrong with saying so?—Cancer victim’s sister
Dear Sister,
What is wrong is that to your parents you make it sound like your brother is already at death’s door. The fact of the matter is that at this point your brother is living with a cancer that will kill him some day, but probably not tomorrow or the next day – possibly not ever, if researchers find a way to cure his type of cancer before then.
A better response to questions about your brother is that he has cancer, but for now he is doing as well as can be expected.
