Dear Queenie,
I’ve been a widow for many years and I kept from being lonely by staying close to my children and grandchildren – visiting back and forth and always available for babysitting and so on.
But all that changed recently when I met a man I like very much. We dated for a while and gradually got closer and closer until now we are “together” as they say nowadays.
The problem is, my children aren’t happy about the change in my life. You’d think they would be glad that I am happy again, but they say they don’t like him and I should be ashamed of the way I am behaving.
I don’t want to be estranged from my children and cut off from my grandchildren, but I don’t want to lose this new relationship either.
Queenie, what can I do?—Caught in between
Dear Caught,
I suspect your children are comparing your new boyfriend unfavourably to their deceased father (and their memories of him may be enhanced by loss and the passage of time). They also may fear the loss of a free babysitter if your grandchildren are still young enough to need one.
You have every right live happily. Do not let your children control your life. Make it plain to them that they do not have to like your boyfriend, but they do have to accept him and be civil to him. Hopefully, their attitude will change with time as they get to know him better.
