Dear Queenie,
I’ve been invited to a fancy wedding and the bride just asked me if I would watch over all the little kids who would be there.
Queenie, isn’t this kind of rude?—Offended wedding guest
Dear Guest,
Even if you are in the child-care profession, yes, it is kind of rude.
You have several choices:
You can agree to her request.
You can agree, but quote her a fee and/or tell her it will be your wedding gift to the happy couple.
You can accept the invitation but tell her you are sorry, you will not be available for child-care because you would not want to miss out on any of the happy event by being distracted by the children.
Or, you can turn down the invitation.
Dear Queenie,
My big brother is 2 grades ahead of me in high school and recently I have noticed that he is paying a lot of attention to a girl in my class who doesn’t have a very good reputation.
Queenie, I don’t want him to get in trouble with her. Should I talk to him or tell my parents or what should I do?—Worried kid brother
Dear Kid brother,
Talk to your brother. Tell him about this girl’s reputation in case he does not already know about it, and tell him you do not want to see him get in trouble with her or for seeing her. Other than that, there is not much you can do but hope things will turn out all right.
Dear Queenie,
My son’s fiancée never says “thank you” when you do something for her or give her something, and when she visits us she just sits there and doesn’t say anything or offer to help out in any way.
I’ve talked to my son about all this but it doesn’t seem to bother him.
It’s bad enough when it’s just us, but it will be a real problem when there are big family get-togethers.
Queenie, should I talk to her about it?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
No, do not talk to your son’s fiancée. She may be very shy, in which case you may be able, with a lot of time and patience, to teach her to do better.
However, if that is not the case, she is not likely to change unless your son insists on it, and maybe not even then.
And whatever happens, try to put up with her patiently, for your son’s sake.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a man in my 40s, never been married, don’t have any children. I would like to be in a committed relationship with a woman but I don’t have any luck.
I keep meeting single and divorced women who have children and I have no problem getting together with someone like that, but some of them have more problems than I can handle and some of them don’t seem to be interested in a man like me. And I can’t seem to meet up with any women who have never been married and don’t have children.
Queenie, what should I do?—Looking for love
Dear Looking,
People tend to wonder what is wrong with a man your age who has never been in a long-term relationship and has no children.
Ask your closest friends and relatives what they think your problem might be, listen carefully to what they say and be willing to try to do something about it. Professional counselling also might help.
Other than that, join a community service or other group that includes lots of women and give the women a chance to get to know you without pressing for a “relationship”. “What will be, will be.”
Dear Queenie,
Recently I heard from an old boyfriend I hadn’t seen in years. Since then we have been talking every day and he has started telling me he loves me
The problem is, he has a woman he is living with. He says they are just friends and roommates and don’t have sex or anything like that, but he isn’t ready to just kick her out or move out himself. However, I want some kind of commitment before I get into a serious relationship with him.
Queenie, what should I do?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
You are not this man’s girlfriend, the woman he lives with is, whether he admits it or not. Tell him you are not interested in any relationship with him as long as he is with her. And bear in mind that he is cheating on her emotionally, if not physically – and he might end up treating you the same way.
