Dear Queenie,
I sent a relative a nice gift for their birthday and I got a nice thank you note from them, but it was for the wrong gift.
Queenie, should I just be glad they wrote a thank you note, or should I say something about it being for the wrong gift, and if so, what should I say?—Thank You Note Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
If you were thanked for the wrong gift, probably someone else was too. It would be a good idea to tell the note-sender – gently, politely – so they can correct the mistake with the other person(s).
Dear Queenie,
There’s this person I work with that I like a lot and I think they like me too and I would like to ask them to go out with me.
Queenie, what do you think about people who work together going out together if there aren’t any rules against it where they work?—Interested co-worker
Dear Co-worker,
Romance in the workplace can be distracting and make it hard for everyone concerned to concentrate on the job, and if things do not work out well it can cause real problems getting the work done.
Personally, I am not for it, but aside from that, you should abide by the rules of your workplace if there are any.
Dear Queenie,
I belong to a group that does community service work. There is one member who works hard for the group but at every meeting they stand up and make speeches that go on and on, in a loud unpleasant voice, and even brag about all the work they do for the group.
They have been asked not to do this, because there have even been some members who have left because of them, but it still happens.
Queenie, what can we do about them?—Angry group member
Dear Member,
The group president – if there is one; otherwise, all the other group members – will have to tell this person that if they do not behave better at group meetings they will be barred from the meetings or even kicked out of the group. Then, if they do not start to behave better, make good on the threat.
No matter how good a worker this person is, you cannot afford to lose more members because of their behaviour.
Dear Queenie,
My parents got divorced when I was about 15. Now I’m almost 25 and I finished college with a Master’s degree and I have a good job and I’ve been together with my girlfriend since college and we plan to get married.
My problem is that my parents are against us getting married because they think it’s stupid because most people don’t get married these days, they just live together.
Queenie, I don’t want to go against my parents, but I do want to get officially married. How can I convince them it’s the right thing to do?—Son of divorced parents
Dear Son,
The fact is that more people who have graduated college are getting married these days than those who have only (or have not even) finished high school – and the college graduates’ marriages have a greater success rate than those with less education.
You may not be able to convince your parents to agree with what you want to do, but you are grown up and on your own and presumably mature enough to make your own decision on such an important matter.
I wish happiness for you and your fiancée.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been living together for a couple of years and all this time he has been cheating on me with more than one other women. No matter how much I cry and tell him how much it hurts me he still does it. He even spends money that we need to pay the bills on them.
Queenie, how can I believe he loves me when he hurts me so much?—Unhappy girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Your boyfriend does not love you. He probably likes you a lot, but he also likes all these other women too and he is not going to change just because it makes you cry.
It is time you thought about doing what is best for you – breaking up with this cheater and finding someone who can, and will, love you exclusively.
