Dear Queenie,
I was on a date with this guy and he kept answering his phone and sending text messages all the time. I thought he was terribly rude, but I didn’t say anything, but the next time he asked me for a date I said I was too busy and he hasn’t called me again.
Queenie, what do you think of all this?—Offended date
Dear Offended,
I agree with you – this guy was terribly rude.
In your place I would have ordered and enjoyed the most expensive meal that appealed to me and then, right after dessert, have told him, “I see you are busy and do not have time for me,” and gotten up and left him sitting there with his cell phone and a huge dinner bill. And if he called me again, like you I would not have accepted another invitation from him, but I would have made a point of telling exactly why.
Dear Queenie,
We have been good friends with our neighbours for years, at least we thought we were, but when their daughter got married we were not invited. We assumed it was because they had to limit the guest list, but after the wedding they showed us pictures of the wedding and it was a huge event with a lot of other friends of theirs present.
Now the daughter is pregnant and they’re having a baby shower for her and this I am invited to, but I really don’t feel like going after being left out of the wedding.
Queenie, were they inconsiderate or am I being too thin-skinned?—Snubbed
Dear Snubbed,
It seems rather tactless of your friends to go on about the wedding to which you were not invited, but inviting you to the shower may be their way of making up for leaving you out of the wedding. You must decide how you want to take all this, as it will affect the future of the friendship.
Dear Queenie,
There’s this boy I’ve known since we were small because our mothers are best friends. We are friends, but just friends, nothing romantic. In fact, I have a boyfriend and we are thinking about getting engaged
The problem is that his mother thinks I am just perfect for him and keeps trying to get us together as more than friends. She even has said she would love to see us get married.
Queenie, how do I get her to lay off this subject without being rude?—Not interested that way
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé and I both were on our own for years before we met and when we moved in together we had 2 of a lot things so we gave the stuff we didn’t need to a service group for their flea market.
Now we are getting married later this year and we have sent out the invitations. We keep telling people that we have everything we need and instead of giving us gifts we would rather they make a donation to their favourite charity, but some of them still insist they have to give something to us, there must be something we need.
Queenie, how do I get them to listen to me?—Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
Repeat your request – politely – as often as necessary. For those who still ignore it, you always can donate their gifts to your favourite service group for their flea market as you did before, with or without telling the givers what you did with them. But be sure to send every gift-giver of either sort a nice thank-you note.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been invited to a wedding, but the bride told me that since I’m not in a committed relationship with anyone I cannot bring a date. I will know some of the people there but not very many and most of them are in the bridal party so they won’t be sitting with the other guests.
Queenie, isn’t this rather rude?—Wedding Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
No. The “plus one” option is up to the host of any event.
Instead of being miffed about this restriction, look at the occasion as an opportunity to catch up with the people you do know and to meet up with some new ones.
Perhaps being unattached will even prove to be an advantage if you happen to meet an attractive person of the opposite gender – who also will not have a “plus one” in tow.
