Dear Queenie,
My daughter who just graduated high school this year has been dating a man for a couple of years and now she is planning to move in with him instead of going to university.
This guy is not qualified for anything but low-paying jobs and even them he can’t hold onto because he is just plain lazy. There is no way he can support her and without a degree she will not be able to get a good job either. And what if she gets pregnant?
Queenie, how can we convince her she is making a big mistake?—Worried mother
Dear Worried,
I would be willing to bet that part of this man’s attraction for your daughter is that you do not like him – teenage rebellion at its worst.
Do not talk to her about him, or tell her she is making a mistake.
Instead, ask her how she will manage financially. Make it clear to her that if she moves in with this man she is on her own and you will not support her any longer.
Talk to her about her job prospects and earning ability without a degree. Show her how to budget what income she may have. Ask her what she will do if she gets pregnant – how she will get along financially if she cannot work and/or how she will be able to take care of a child and work at the same time – or how she plans to ensure that she does not have children.
And cross your fingers and pray that she is able to look at her future realistically.
