Dear Queenie,
My parents talk about their finances in front of me. They are not poor, but they’re not exactly loaded either. They talk about their credit card debt and how much payment they are making.
I’m only in high school and this bothers me. There’s nothing I can do about it and I’m worried that something bad is going to happen.
Queenie, why do they want to scare me like this?—Worried teenager
Dear Worried,
Apparently your parents think you are old enough to start learning about budgeting and financial management.
When they start talking about their finances ask them questions about the things that worry you. My guess is that they will give you straight answers and will be pleased that you are taking an interest – and hopefully learning some valuable life lessons.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter has 2 children and I have always sent them gifts on special occasions like birthdays and Christmas, but never once has either of them bothered to thank me, not by a written note or even a phone call, and none of them have ever sent me so much as a card or made a phone call on my birthday.
Queenie, how long do I have to keep up sending them gifts?—Unappreciated grandma
Dear Unappreciated,
Not one moment longer than you feel like doing so. And if they are so presumptuous as to ask why you stopped, tell them they made it clear that they did not care about your gifts, so you decided to stop wasting your time and money.
Dear Queenie,
The other day a guest in our house went to wash his hands in the kitchen sink after he had been helping my husband with some yard work. I asked him please to use the bathroom sink instead and he got vexed with me for being so “finicky” about such a small matter.
Queenie, did I do something wrong?—Kitchen Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I know some people are particular about such things. Personally, I do not see much difference between washing the dirt off garden vegetables and washing similar dirt off one’s hands, but I know not everyone agrees with me.
As long as you asked him politely not to use the kitchen sink, I do not think you did anything wrong.
Dear Queenie,
My sister has lived far away from here for many years and we cannot afford to travel to visit her. She married a wealthy man and could well afford to come here to visit her family, but has never done so. She has never even met our children.
Now I’m getting older it makes me sick to think that after I die she will come to my funeral and make a big thing about how much she loved me and missed me and how sad she is that I am gone. Hypocrite! If she could come to my funeral, why couldn’t she come to see us while I was still alive?
Queenie, how can I stop this from happening?—Neglected sister
Dear Neglected,
Once you are dead, what difference will it make to you if your sister does show up at the funeral? Such ceremonies are mainly for the sake of those left behind, to help them through a difficult time.
And what makes you so certain she would come to your funeral? She may have good reasons for not travelling – for example, health issues that make it difficult for her to travel long distances, or responsibilities such as a disabled relative that she cannot leave unattended.
So why not leave the question of your sister’s attendance up to the person(s) who will be making the funeral arrangements? If they do not want your sister there, they can wait until after the funeral to notify her of your death. Problem (such as it is) solved.
Dear Queenie,
My wife is going to her 25th college reunion this summer. I found out she has been e-mailing with a guy she used to go out with in college, before we ever met.
She says they are just talking about old times and the reunion, but I saw some of his e-mail and it is obvious that he is trying to get together with her for more than just talking about old times. She says she will stop corresponding with him if I want her to.
Queenie, should I insist?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
Apparently your wife is enjoying a flirtation with an old flame. As long as she is willing to stop her correspondence with this guy, take her up on the offer and let it go at that. Will you be going to the reunion with her?
