Dear Queenie,
There is this couple my husband and I have been friends with for a while. The wife and I are very close friends, the husbands not so much so.
Recently when they were leaving our house after an evening together my husband and the wife happened to walk out to the car ahead of me and the husband and suddenly he grabbed me and hugged me very tight with his hand on my backside and I had to push him away very hard. He just laughed and said he wanted to see what I would do.
We haven’t seen them since and I haven’t said anything to my husband about it.
Queenie, how should I handle this? I do not want to spoil my friendship with the wife.—Flustered
Dear Queenie,
I want my boyfriend that I met in college to meet my parents and he is planning to visit me in St. Maarten next summer.
He does not have any relatives here and he does not have a lot of money to spare and my parents have a guest bedroom so I thought he should stay at our house in the guest bedroom, but my father says it would not be proper for us to be staying in the same house.
Queenie, is my father right? He says he will abide by whatever you say is correct.—Visiting Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I see nothing wrong with your boyfriend staying in a separate bedroom in the same house as you, as long as there is no sneaking around when everyone else is asleep.
If your father does not trust you and your boyfriend to abide by that rule, he could lock one of you up at night, which might be dangerous in case of a fire, or he could put a burglar alarm on your bedroom door or lock you into a chastity belt if he can find one – but all of these ideas seem rather extreme.
I really think your father should lighten up and show some confidence in your and your boyfriend’s sense of propriety.
Dear Queenie,
My husband died last year and recently I met a man whose wife died a couple of years ago. We have fallen in love and I like to think we could have a future together.
So, Queenie, why do I feel like I’m cheating on my deceased husband?—Worried widow
Dear Widow,
Apparently you have not completely gotten over your late husband’s death. However, you must remember that marriage vows bind you only “until death do you part,” so even though you may still be in mourning, it is not cheating to have feelings for a living person.
Talk it over with your new love interest. If he also lost a beloved spouse, he should understand your feelings and probably has gone through something similar himself.
You both have every right to live “happily ever after” the second time around.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been dating a girl for several months and now she is pushing me for us to move in together, but I’m just not interested in a closer relationship. In fact, I’m ready to break up with her completely, but when I even start to talk about not seeing each other, or at least dating other people too she gets all upset and starts talking all sorts of foolishness.
Queenie, how do I get her to let go of me?—Trapped
Dear Trapped,
It is not going to be easy, and you cannot do it by “letting her down easy,” so be prepared for an emotional outburst (or two or three or more!). The old line “It’s not you, it’s me” applies here, for whatever good it will do you.
You will have to tell her the truth, as often as necessary until she gets the message. And be prepared with lots of patience – and Kleenex.
Dear Queenie,
My teenage daughter’s best friend has 2 profiles on Facebook. One is a perfectly normal one that she uses for people like me that she wants to impress with how nice she is. But I happened to discover that she has another one that you could only call “X-rated.” In fact, in my opinion it is “XXX-rated” and if she were my daughter she would be in big, big trouble!
Queenie, should I tell her parents?—Computer literate mother
