Dear Queenie,
I’m still in high school, going with a guy who graduated last year. Since he graduated and we’re not in school together anymore he’s gotten very jealous and keeps saying mean things like I’m getting fat (not true) and he doesn’t want me talking to anyone else, even my older brother.
I love him and I keep hoping things will get better, but it just isn’t happening.
Queenie, how can I get him to lighten up?—Unhappy girl
Dear Unhappy,
I doubt that you can. Your boyfriend has all the characteristics of an abusive personality and is not likely to change no matter how much you wish for it.
Get away from him as fast as you can, before he escalates into physical abuse, if he has not done so already. Ask your parents for help if necessary.
Dear Queenie,
I have an odd family name and people often have trouble pronouncing and spelling it, so I have gotten in the habit of repeating it and spelling it for them. Someone once told me I don’t have to do that, they’re not stupid.
Queenie, am I being rude?—Unpronounceable name
Dear Unpronounceable,
No, you are trying to be helpful, but you may come across as being a bit snotty. Why not wait a moment to see if the person is having difficulty before you repeat your name, and ask them if they want you to before you spell it for them?
Dear Queenie,
I like to hold informal family get-togethers like barbecues and I always used to invite both my family and my husband’s, but my family always makes some excuse and never attends, so I have stopped inviting them.
Now they get mifted if they hear about an occasion that I didn’t invite them to, even though I know they wouldn’t have come.
Queenie, I’m just sick of having my invitations rejected.—Offended hostess
Dear Offended,
I would not blame you if you stopped inviting these ingrates, but they are family, so a little patience is called for.
Continue to invite them but take it for granted that they will not attend and do not let it bother you.
And if you should want to regale them afterward with what a wonderful time everyone had who attended, I would not blame you for rubbing their noses in what they had missed.
Dear Queenie,
My kid brother is in high school, He gets good grades and plays some sports but up to now he hasn’t ever had a girlfriend.
Queenie, do you think he might be gay?—Worried brother
Dear Worried,
Many teenagers are just not ready to date in high school. Some of them succumb to peer pressure and start that kind of socialising before they are really ready, but others wait until they are in college or out of school entirely. Give your brother some time – and space.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend has no sense of style. His clothes aren’t ragged or worn out, but they’re totally out-of-date and never were particularly stylish and often the colours just don’t go together.
Queenie, how can I get my boyfriend to dress better?—Fashionable lady
Dear Fashionable,
Are your boyfriend’s clothes inappropriate for the occasions to which he wears them, or is it just that they do not meet your standards of “fashionableness”?
You can go shopping with him and point out items that you believe are more stylish, you can even give him gifts of clothing that meets your standards, but in the end you will have to either accept his preferences or start looking for a more fashionable boyfriend.
