Dear Queenie,
I am a beautician and my relatives and friends expect me to give them my professional services all the time at their homes and for free.
Queenie, how can I get them to stop asking me?—Imposed on
Dear Imposed on,
Grow some backbone and learn to say “no.”
Tell them it is impossible for you to do the work at their homes because it would mean carrying around too much equipment, so they should make an appointment to come to your place of business. Then, if they do, feel free to hand them a bill for your services and if they object, tell them you had to turn away a paying customer to accommodate them so you expect to be compensated for lost business.
Either they will pay up then and in the future or they will (eventually) stop asking you for favours.
Dear Queenie,
My college reunion is coming up later this year. I was pretty wild in college, drinking and playing around a lot. Since then I have settled down and am raising a family and living a decent life. My wife knows all about how I was in college because she went to the same school.
We would like to go to the reunion and catch up with old friends, but there will be other people there that I would be embarrassed to see again.
Queenie, should we go or not?—Alumnus
Dear Alumnus,
By all means go and enjoy yourselves, and do not worry so much about your “wild” past. It is quite likely that the people you would be embarrassed to see again also will have settled down to changed lives.
Dear Queenie,
My children get a lot of gifts from their aunts and uncles on special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. I know they are supposed to write a “thank you” note for each gift, but they hate to do it and it’s a real battle to get them to write each one.
Queenie, how do we get them to write the notes, or should we do it for them?—Gift Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
No, do not write the notes for them!!! Your children should learn courtesy from an early age.
I suggest that you do not let your children play with their gifts – or spend any money they receive – until they have written a “thank you” note for the gift. Hopefully, that will provide the incentive they need even more than any nagging on your part.
Dear Queenie,
We have some friends who run a motel in New Jersey [in the United States – Ed.]. When they came to visit us a couple years ago they stayed with us. But when we went to the States to visit them last year they put us in a room at the motel and then charged us for it, even though they had other empty rooms to rent out. It’s not as if they lost business because we were there.
Now they are planning to visit us again and expect to stay with us.
Queenie, do you think this is right?—Feeling used
Dear Queenie,
The other day I was at the grocery store with my wife. I was pushing the cart a little way behind her and when she got into a checkout line another woman got in line right behind her before I got there, so I got in line behind the other woman who had a full cart.
My wife waved to me to push past the other woman but I thought that woman got there before me so she should go before me.
Queenie, who was right?—Shopping Etty Ket
Dear Shopping,
Your wife could have explained to the woman that you were with her (your wife) and asked the woman to let you pass. Or you could have explained to the woman that you were with your wife who was ahead of her, and asked the woman to let you join your wife. The woman probably would have let you pass, especially if you only had a few items, but it seems to me the whole situation was not worth making an issue of.
