Dear Queenie,

I was in a relationship with a guy for a couple of years and then we broke up when he moved away.

After a while I met and fell in love with someone else who is just perfect for me and he says he loves me too and we are planning to get married.

Now the first guy has come home and he is together with a new girlfriend. All the time we were together he never told me he loved me but I have heard him say it to the new girl and I can’t help remembering he never said it to me.

Queenie, why are men so cruel?—Devastated

Dear Devastated,

Why do you consider the first guy cruel? He never fell in love with you, the relationship ended and now he has fallen in love with someone who is not you. That is how life goes.

Meanwhile, you have fallen in love with someone who is not him. Stop wasting time and energy obsessing about a relationship that did not work out. Count yourself lucky that you have found a new man who is right for you and put your time and energy into making sure that things work out right with him.

Dear Queenie,

My husband and I and our children live with his mother who has been divorced for a long time.

Every so often she goes out with some of her friends and the last time she brought home a man who stayed the night. We thought it was just for that one night, but he never left.

This guy is closer to our age than hers but he doesn’t seem to have a job. He just hangs around the house eating our food and using our supplies. What’s more, he puts the moves on me while my husband and his mother are at work. I told them about it but they don’t believe me. My mother-in-law insists he is harmless.

Queenie, I’m tired of keeping my mouth shut. What should I do?—Angry wife

Dear Angry wife,

What you should NOT do is keep your mouth shut! You have children living with you and this is a very bad atmosphere for them.

You should insist that your husband stand up for you and tell his mother that if this man stays, the two of you (and her grandchildren) will find a place of your own and move out of her house. And in the meantime, start saving your money so you can afford to do so.

Dear Queenie,

All the people where I work have totally different jobs. I have a difficult job and when I have finished my work I take a break, go online or go out for a walk or a snack.

When I do this one of the others makes nasty remarks about me goofing off. It’s not as if I could help that person with their work because I don’t know anything about their job.

Queenie, how do I deal with this person?—Hard-working employee

Dear Employee,

As long as your boss is satisfied with your work, what you do is none of this person’s business. You could tell him or her that, or you could try to “make nice” by offering to bring him/her cup of coffee or a snack when you go out. Other than that, just ignore the person entirely.

Dear Queenie,
I really have to write this to you.
I went to a funeral for a fireman on October 21. I was so shocked to see and hear that this man worked at the Fire Department for 35 years, that all of those years he was a Government worker putting out fires, and not one of the politicians was at the funeral!
Then the Prime Minister sent someone to read a piece of paper saying he had no water to bathe.
There were more than 100 men and women on the party lists in the recent election and not one of them showed their face at the funeral. Election over, so nobody cared. It was so empty. No one supported the firemen in their grief. It was a shame!
Queenie, I just wanted to say this.—A fire-fighter

Dear Fire-fighter,
And the politicians wonder why more people do not turn out to vote!