Dear Queenie,

My boyfriend is very good to me, but he has very little education and can only get low-salary jobs and now he been out of work for several months. He says he is looking for work, but he always seems to have an excuse for “not today”.

I am going to college and raising our son and I have a fairly good job that pays enough to support us, but it’s a real drag and I don’t see it getting any better any time soon.

Queenie, the only reason I stay with him is because I love him and I don’t think I could make it as a single mother alone.—Worn out

Dear Worn out,

You are a single mother supporting not one child but two – your son and your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend has no real motivation to look for work or to work at getting more education so he could find better jobs. Why should he, when Mommy (you) is willing to take care of him?

Give him an ultimatum: start helping out financially or get out and relieve you of at least part of your burden – and give you a chance to find a man who will give you something more than additional expenses.

Dear Queenie,

My mother had a horrible childhood and she’s been telling me about it since I was small. She tells the same stories over and over and over, so I know them by heart and I’m just sick and tired of hearing about them. What’s more, she did some of the same things to me that were done to her when she was small.

Queenie, how can I get her to shut up about it already?—Fed up son

Dear Fed up,

Try to get your mother to go for professional counselling.

To start with, refuse to listen to her stories any more. When she starts in, tell her you do not want to hear it and she should tell it to a professional counsellor. Then, if she still continues, walk away/hang up the phone.

And you might want to consult a professional counsellor yourself to help you deal with your own issues.

Dear Queenie,

My son and daughter-in-law have 5 children already and now I found out they are trying for number 6. I help them out every day with housework and childcare because they can’t afford to hire anybody and I have even helped them financially on occasion, even though I can’t afford very much.

I tried to convince them that 5 is more than enough but they refuse to listen to me.

Queenie, what more can I do?—Exhausted grandma

Dear Exhausted,

You can stop helping them out so much. To start with, no more financial assistance. Just say “no,” and tell them you simply cannot afford it.

Then cut back drastically on the time you spend helping with housework and caring for the kids. Tell them you are simply exhausted, your doctor has recommended a certain amount of bed rest. And stick to your decision.

If you stop making things easier for your son and his wife perhaps they will realise that they already have all the children they can manage to handle – or they will figure out how to manage without leaning on you.

Dear Queenie,

My daughter has a terrific figure – like you see on movie stars or sexy models. The problem is she wears clothes that show it off too much, especially like at the beach she wears just a tiny bikini and everybody stares at her, especially the men.

We would never let her dress like that when she was growing up but she says now that she’s an adult she can dress however she wants to.

Queenie, shouldn’t she be more respectful of her parents?—Embarrassed father

Dear Embarrassed,

Face it, that is how well-endowed women dress these days.

In fact, I would be willing to bet that you yourself have stared at an occasional gorgeous young woman in skimpy attire.

Relax, enjoy the view, and let your daughter enjoy being admired.