Dear Queenie,
My best friend died in an auto accident recently and I have heard that her family are going through her possessions and disposing of them. I would dearly love to have something of hers to remember her by.
Queenie, do I have the right to ask them for something?—Grieving friend
Dear Grieving,
Your friend’s family also are grieving, and it would add to their burden if you started asking them for things of hers.
Pay a condolence call on them. Surely they know how close you and their loved one were, and if they offer you something as a memento you can accept it with gratitude. If they do not offer, do not bring up the subject. But I have to wonder – did you and she not ever exchange gifts? If so, you will have her gifts to you to remember her by.
