Dear Queenie,
When I send out invitations for a special event most of the people don’t bother to let me know if they are going to attend, even if I include an RSVP card or my phone number so they can call me. I never know how many people to provide for. Sometimes there is a lot of food left over that just goes to waste, but if I don’t provide enough for everyone I invited, there might not be enough for everyone who comes.
Queenie, why don’t people have the courtesy to reply to an invitation?—Fed-up hostess
Dear Hostess,
Of course people should have the courtesy to reply to an invitation, especially when there is an RSVP card or request included. At the very least they should e-mail you, so be sure to include an e-mail address in the invitation.
All you can do is phone the ones who do not and ask them whether they will attend. And you have my permission to call them collect if it is a toll call.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I gave my mother a beautiful piece of jewelry for her last birthday. She is getting old, and when she passes away I would like to give that piece to my wife, but I think my mother is planning to leave all her jewelry to one of my brother’s daughters and I expect the person who inherits it will probably sell it.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to ask my mother to leave this particular piece to me?—Looking ahead
Dear Looking ahead,
I cannot think of any reason your mother would be offended if you ask her to do this. However, if she does not wish to change her will, or does not have time to do so, and you think the person who inherits it will probably sell it anyway, you could offer to buy the piece from her when the time comes, at whatever price she could have gotten from someone else – and it may turn into a bidding war.
Dear Queenie,
I borrowed a friend’s cell phone to make a call and saw some things on it that make me think she is cheating on her husband.
Queenie, should I try to talk to her about this?—Suspicious friend
Dear Friend,
It is one thing to make a call on someone else’s phone, and quite another to go through it looking at things that are none of your business. If your friend is having an affair, and if she wanted you to know about it, she would tell you.
The best thing you can do right now is keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.
Dear Queenie,
When a good friend since high school recently told me that her husband was cheating on her and asked me for advice, I told her I have been in love with her since high school and she replied that she has been in love with me too.
Now she is getting a divorce from her husband because of his cheating and once the divorce is final we plan to move in together. However, another friend of ours says we are committing adultery because she is breaking up her marriage to be with me.
Queenie, is that true? We haven’t had sex or done anything more than make plans for after the divorce is final.—Confused
Dear Confused,
According to the dictionary definition of “adultery”, you have not committed it.
If your friend has been in love with you all this time she could not have had a very good marriage and her husband’s cheating was the “straw that broke the camel’s back”.
Dear Queenie,
Dear Queenie, My husband’s sister planned a grand expensive party for their mother’s 80th birthday without discussing it with him, and just told him how much he owed her for his share of the cost. It was much more than my husband could afford and he told her so. He offered her what he could afford, which she took. We went to the party and everyone had a great time, and there was no more talk about money. But now she keeps saying how much more he owes her and asking when he is going to pay the rest.
Queenie, is this right?—Not rich
Dear Not rich,
Your sister-in-law should have discussed her plans with her brother before she spent a lot of money on the party. However, what is done is done. Perhaps, for the sake of peace in the family, your husband could arrange to pay her at least some of what she says he owes her, as much as he can afford, maybe bit by bit on an “instalment plan”.
