Dear Queenie,
My husband is controlling and emotionally abusive and I am going to divorce him.
My problem is that he is very good at putting on a good face in public and everyone thinks what a wonderful husband he is. Little do they know! If I keep quiet about the reasons for the divorce everyone will blame me for leaving such a wonderful husband. If I talk about it openly people will think I am lying about him.
Queenie, how do I make them believe me?—Soon-to-be ex-wife
Dear Wife,
Do you have any close women friends whom you can count on to believe you? If so, tell them in detail about your problems with your husband – preferably the ones with the greatest tendency to gossip. The news will spread and, believe me, more people than you would think will believe it.
Dear Queenie,
I’m getting married next year and after we set the date and started making plans my cousin asked me to change the date so she could be there because she has something else going on on the date we chose. When I told her that was out of the question she got vexed and we had an argument, so I have decided just not to invite her at all.
Now other relatives are saying I’m being selfish and rude and if she isn’t invited they won’t come either.
Queenie, was I wrong or was she?—Bride-to-be
Dear Bride-to-be,
You were both wrong. Your cousin made a totally unreasonable request and should not have gotten vexed when you refused – or were unable – to comply.
However, that is not sufficient reason to dis-invite her to your wedding. Take the high road – send her an invitation and let her know you hope she will be able to attend, but if not, you will understand and hope to see her soon on another occasion.
Dear Queenie,
Queenie, what do you say to a woman who declares that she doesn’t believe in “feminism” because she expects her man to take care of everything for her?—Dumbfounded
Dear Queenie,
My brother disapproves of my summer vacation clothes – mostly tank tops and shorts. He says they are too revealing and boys will think I am slutty.
Queenie, should I listen to him or is he just being overprotective?—Little sister
Dear Sister,
Ask your mother for her opinion and let her judgement prevail.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school but my mother says as long as I live with her I am too young to go out on a date with a boy.
Queenie, other girls my age can have boyfriends. Why can’t I?—Old enough
Dear Old enough,
If your mother will not let you learn about dating and relationships with boys while you still live with her, how does she expect you to learn when you are on your own – through sad experience? That kind of knowledge does not come easily or automatically.
Will your mother at least let you go out in groups of boys and girls? That would be a good start.
If not, talk this over with some other trusted adult and ask him or her to intercede for you.
