Dear Queenie,
My (ex-) husband and I got divorced, but we still live together for financial reasons, with separate bedrooms. My problem is that sometimes when he has a date he brings the woman home for a while and sometimes they get intimate and even go into his bedroom, and I find it embarrassing.
Queenie, what can I do?—Embarrassed ex
Dear Ex,
Explain your problem to your ex and ask him if he and his date cannot go to her place instead. If this is not possible (probably because she also does not live alone) ask him to let you know ahead of time so you can arrange to stay somewhere else for the evening (or even the whole night) so he and his date can have more privacy and you can be spared the embarrassment.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine was given a card for her car to use “handicapped” parking places after she had surgery a couple of years ago. Now she has completely recovered but she still uses the card and the special parking.
Queenie, this does’t seem right to me. Should I say something?—Offended friend
Dear Friend,
Most of these cards have an expiration date and sooner or later your friend will get a parking ticket for doing this.
If you are with her when she does it you can tell her you are surprised she is still using the card now that she does not need it any more, and that she has not been fined for doing so.
Dear Queenie,
I got pregnant for a man who doesn’t know how to manage his money. He wants to be father to this child when it is born, but not support it financially.
Meanwhile, I am thinking of getting back together with the man I used to be with before I met the baby’s father.
Queenie, what should I do?—Can’t decide what to do
Dear Can’t decide,
Does your ex know you want to get back together with him? And does he know you are pregnant with another man’s baby? He should know everything about the baby before you talk about getting back together, because he probably will not take it well if he finds out afterward that you have kept such important information to yourself.
Get professional legal advice regarding the baby’s father to establish exactly what his rights and responsibilities are in relation to his offspring.
And from now on use birth control when you have sex with a man, unless you intend to get pregnant.
Dear Queenie,
My grandsons are 6 and 10 years old and they both sleep in the same king-size bed. Their mother has been divorced from their father, my son, since they were much younger and she has gotten into the habit of getting in the bed to sleep with them. The boys think they are too old for this and they have told her so and asked her to stop, but she still does it.
Queenie, is there any way I can help the children get her to stop?—Grampa
Dear Grampa,
Your ex-daughter-in-law may find that sleeping with her children is comforting and eases her loneliness, but she should not be doing it if the children object, especially as they are getting older.
You and their mother (and their father, if he is still close to his sons), should discuss this with their paediatrician, and possibly a psychological therapist for professional advice. Surely their mother wants what is best for her children!
Dear Queenie,
My daughter’s husband left her after their children grew up and now they are divorced, but she still sends him a card on his birthday and holidays and she expects me to send him cards too because he is still my grandchildren’s father.
Queenie, do I have to?—Annoyed ex-mother-in-law
Dear Annoyed,
You do not have to send him such cards, or have any contact with him at all, but it would be nice of you to do so, if only for your grandchildren’s sake.
