Dear Queenie,
I’m getting on in years and I’m worried about what will become of some of my things when I die.
There are some lovely family heirlooms that I’m afraid my children will fight over because some of them are rather valuable (jewelry and such) and they only care about what they are worth in cash, and I’d rather give them to one of my granddaughters who has a real sense of family and will cherish them for the family history behind them.
Queenie, how can I be sure she gets the things I want her to have?—Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
One way is to give the things to your granddaughter now, while you are still alive, assuming she is an adult and independent enough to hold on to them in spite of pressure from other members of the family. To avoid such squabbles, try to give each of the others a gift of equal monetary value at the same time.
I believe the law controls part of the distribution of your estate, but at least some of it is subject to your wishes. I suggest you consult an attorney to find out just what your legal position is, and make a will to control distribution of the part you are allowed to bequeath.
