Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have been married for about 6 months and people are already asking us when we’re going to start a family.
We both have good jobs and aren’t ready for children yet, if ever. We haven’t decided if we want children or not, but if we do, we want to own our own home and be able to afford nice things for them. Plus things like school fees and sending them to private school or even away to school because the public schools here are so backward … you know how it adds up.
Queenie, how do we answer people who ask us this question? How do we answer our parents, and how do we answer outsiders?—Feeling pressured
Dear Feeling pressured,
Tell family members what you have told me, if you feel like going into detail. If not, just say, “We’re not ready for children yet.”
As for “outsiders,” it depends on whether you mean friends, acquaintances or perfect strangers, and on how polite or rude you want to be to them.
“We’re not ready yet” is the politest answer. Or you could answer the question with another question: “Why would you ask me such a personal question?” Or, to be equally rude, “What business is that of yours?” or even “That’s none of your (expletive included, if you want to be really rude!) business.”
