Dear Queenie,
I just can’t get my husband to go to the doctor for a check-up. He says he feels fine and the doctor is only for when you are sick. But even when he doesn’t feel well he won’t go, he just says it’s not anything big and he’ll get over it in a couple of days.
Queenie, why does he refuse to ever see a doctor and how can I get him to see how important it is?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
This refusal to go to the doctor may be related to men’s refusal to ask for directions when they are lost. Whatever the reason for this attitude, it is part of the reason men’s life expectancy is shorter than women’s.
You cannot physically drag your husband to the doctor’s office, but maybe – maybe – if you offer to go with him and hold his hand throughout the visit you can persuade him to go. Other than that, cross your fingers and pray he stays healthy!
Dear Queenie,
Everyone in my family thinks my sister’s husband is just about perfect and I did too until I saw him in a restaurant with another woman and they were acting like they were more than just co-workers or casual friends.
I feel awful knowing what I saw, but I would feel worse if telling her would break up their marriage.
Queenie, should I tell my sister what I saw?—Ambivalent
Dear Ambivalent,
How would you feel if your positions were reversed? Would you want your sister to tell you what she saw? If you would, tell your sister (tactfully) what you saw. It might actually help to save their marriage.
Dear Queenie,
I have a boy friend (not “boyfriend”) who is gay. One time he saw another boy he thought was interesting and asked me if I knew whether that boy is gay. I asked a friend of the other boy and he said no, the other boy is as straight as they come.
My problem is that now I have got to know the other boy I got to like him and when he asked me for a date I would have said “yes” if my boy friend wasn’t interested in him.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to go out with that other boy?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I do not think the “girl code” applies in this case. Because the other boy is straight there is no chance whatsoever that he will ever be interested in your gay friend in that way. However, it might be a good idea to ask your gay friend how he would feel about it before you decide.
Dear Queenie,
I have a boy friend (not “boyfriend”) who is gay. One time he saw another boy he thought was interesting and asked me if I knew whether that boy is gay. I asked a friend of the other boy and he said no, the other boy is as straight as they come.
My problem is that now I have got to know the other boy I got to like him and when he asked me for a date I would have said “yes” if my boy friend wasn’t interested in him.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to go out with that other boy?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I do not think the “girl code” applies in this case. Because the other boy is straight there is no chance whatsoever that he will ever be interested in your gay friend in that way. However, it might be a good idea to ask your gay friend how he would feel about it before you decide.
Dear Queenie,
My children don’t like visiting my parents because they say Gramma is always “down” and angry and they don’t like the way she treats Grampa.
Queenie, should I tell her what they said? Do you think it would make her change?—Can’t decide what’s best
Dear Can’t decide,
I would not tell her you are repeating what her grandchildren said. Instead, tell her you can see that she is not happy and suggest (gently!) that professional counselling might help.
