Dear Queenie,
I dated my boyfriend for a couple of years and now we have moved in together. He goes out several nights a week and doesn’t come home until the wee hours of the morning, leaving me all alone at home, and when he is at home he gets calls from women at all hours of the day and night.
He says he isn’t cheating on me, but I have to wonder about all this.
Queenie, what do you think?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
Whatever else may or may not be going on, I think your boyfriend has no respect at all for your feelings – not a good omen for a lasting relationship.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been going with a married woman for years now. She says she loves me and wants to marry me, but she won’t do anything about getting a divorce. It’s not as if she has kids and I’m not married, so there’s no problem about that kind of thing.
Meanwhile, I’m getting sick of having to worry about people knowing about us, which could really cause problems, especially for her.
Queenie, what do you say?—Getting Impatient
Dear Impatient,
There are other reasons than children for not wanting to end a marriage. Your adulterous paramour may actually be in love with her husband and unwilling to leave him, she may be afraid of damage to her reputation if her adultery becomes public knowledge, there may be financial reasons, and the list goes on and on.
I say you should not waste your life waiting (and hoping) for this clandestine relationship to develop into anything more than it already is.
Dear Queenie,
My father is about to go on retirement and we are going to throw him a big party to celebrate. My brother is bringing his girlfriend and it happens to be her birthday that day, so he wants us all to sing “Happy Birthday” to her.
I told him this would not be appropriate, but he got mad and said if we won’t sing for her they won’t come to the party.
Queenie, am I wrong about this?—Older sister
Dear Sister,
I do not think this is a really important point to argue about. Surely it will not spoil your father’s party to take a moment out from his celebration to sing a short song to the birthday girl (and even offer her a cupcake with a candle). It might even spice up the festivities.
Dear Queenie,
I love my wife very much but she is not what you would call a sociable person. I don’t mind going to social events by myself, but I never know what to say when people ask me where my wife is. I don’t like making up excuses.
Any suggestions, Queenie?—Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,
Just tell them the truth: “My wife is not a social person/does not enjoy social events.”
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I are both retired. My problem is that all he wants to do is hang around the house and watch TV and make fun of me. I worked full-time for many years and raised our children and kept up the house, but nothing I do is good enough and if I disagree with him it ends up in an argument. He’s very pleasant to everybody when we are in public, but at home he’s very different.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Angry wife
Dear Wife,
Some men get depressed after they retire because they start feeling useless. Try to get him active in senior citizens groups, community service organisations. and/or other volunteer service groups. As usual, I also suggest professional counselling, if you can get him to go.
