Dear Queenie,
With a one-month-old baby involved, there seems to be no way out for my daughter leaving her psychotic and controlling boyfriend. He is supposed to have scheduled visitation away from my house because of his disrespect and threatening behaviour, yet he still shows up.
Police warned him numerous times, but he makes a mockery of the system. He recently found an apartment, so now he controls her car keys, or he starts flipping when visitation ends, just for her to stay with him.
Now her father, like many others, thinks she is enabling the situation, but he just doesn't listen.
Queenie, being unemployed for one year, do you think he has any rights, and who says visitation must be by his house?—Worried Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
A lawyer or the Court of Guardianship can advise you concerning parents’ legal rights.
As for your daughter’s relationship with her baby’s father, I suggest you and she consult Safe Haven (office 9277; 24-hour hotline number: 9333 or (721) 523-6400; e-mail address This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Facebook: SafeHavenSt.Maarten) for advice and assistance.
Dear Queenie,
My sister stopped speaking to me a couple of years ago because I dated her best friend for a while and then we broke up. There wasn’t any big fight or anything, we just sort of cooled off with each other. Her friend and I are still on good terms, we just aren’t together anymore. But my sister still isn’t talking to me.
Queenie, I didn’t do anything to either of them. Why can’t my sister get over it?—Estranged brother
Dear Brother,
I am guessing your sister was hoping you would make her friend her sister(-in-law) and was terribly disappointed when that did not happen. However, her reaction was, and still is, irrationally out of proportion. All you can do is hope she will get over it with (probably a very, very long) time.
Dear Queenie,
When my daughter and her husband have a fight she makes him sleep in the spare bedroom and lets their daughter sleep with her.
Queenie, is this bad for my granddaughter? Should I be worried about her?—Concerned grandma
Dear Grandma,
You do not need to be worried about your granddaughter sleeping with her mother, but seeing her parents quarrelling is another matter.
However, I do not think you should get involved in their marital problems beyond suggesting professional counselling if the quarrels seem too frequent and/or serious.
Dear Queenie,
My Dad cheated on my mother and they got divorced. That was years ago and he still hasn’t admitted that he did anything wrong. He hardly keeps in touch with me anymore, just an occasional phone call or e-mail.
Queenie, should I just leave things like that?—Divorcees’ son
Dear Son,
Unless there is something you have not told me, your father did not do anything wrong to you, only to your mother, and it is to her, not to you, that he must make (or has already made) his admission of wrongdoing and, hopefully, his apology. Do not interfere.
Dear Queenie,
Is your son-in-law still part of your family after his wife (our daughter) dies? Should we still try to stay close with him even if he starts dating again?
Queenie, what do you say?—Grieving parents
Dear Parents,
It depends on how close you were with him while he was married to your daughter and, of course, how he feels about the relationship. If you were close with him while your daughter was alive keep yourselves available, but leave it up to him.
