Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time and we have a child together and are planning on getting married.
A while ago we had some problems and separated for a while. During the time we were separated I dated another guy even though my boyfriend and I were still very much in touch.
Eventually my boyfriend and I worked out our problems and got back together and I stopped seeing the other guy, but now my boyfriend doesn’t trust me that I only want to be with him. He checks up on me all the time and we fight a lot about this.
I have told him I wouldn’t have agreed to get married if I wasn’t going to be faithful to him, and he says he loves me with all his heart, but still he has a problem trusting me and I don’t want to live like this forever.
Queenie, should I marry him and hope things will get better?—Distrusted
Dear Distrusted,
I suggest you make your engagement a long one – long enough to give your fiancé enough time to rebuild his trust in your ability to remain faithful to him. And by the way, just what was he doing while the two of you were separated?
Dear Queenie,
I live with my Mom but my Dad pays for my support and for my cell phone.
My problem is that whenever I visit him my Dad insists on checking out my cell phone to see what’s on it. There’s never anything bad, but he still insists on seeing it.
When I complained that this is an invasion of my privacy he said he wants to see what he is paying for and if I don’t like it I should pay for the cell phone myself.
Queenie, how can I get him to respect my privacy?—Disrespected daughter
Dear Daughter,
You do not say how old you are, but if your father is still paying for your support you must still be in your teens and, because you do not live with him, no doubt he feels the need to exercise some supervision over your behaviour.
He has a point. If you are old enough to demand respect for your privacy, you are old enough to find a way to pay for your cell phone yourself. By doing so, you will demonstrate a reassuring level of maturity and responsibility.
Dear Queenie,
There’s this boy I have been friends with since we were in primary school and this last year or so I have fallen in love with him and I think he feels the same way about me, but when I told him how I feel he said it just couldn’t work out because we are going away to college to two different schools in two different countries.
Queenie, is he right or do we have a chance?—Lovelorn
Dear Lovelorn,
I suspect he is right, but not for the reason he gave you. More than likely he just does not feel the same way about you as you feel about him and he was trying to “let you down easy.”
There is always the chance that “absence will make his heart grow fonder,” but do not depend on that happening. While you are away at college, keep yourself open to new friendships and the possibility of a new romance(s!).
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend that I have had feelings for her for a long time, so I sent her some flowers and asked her for a date. She thanked me for the flowers, but made some excuse about the date and hasn’t answered my calls or texts since then.
Queenie, how can I get her to give me a chance?—Lovesick
Dear Lovesick,
Sending flowers to a girl you have never even dated once is going more than a little bit too far. It seems rather obvious that this girl is not at all interested in you, so give her a break and start looking around for someone else who might reciprocate your feelings for her.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a receptionist in a business office and I also type letters and reports and do other administrative work. People often have to wait a while for the person they came to see and when that happens sometimes instead of moving away and sitting down they stay by my desk and chat.
