Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years since we finished high school. He has recently moved to another country for his tertiary education and now he isn’t acting the same anymore.
He always says he’s too busy to call me but leaves a message most times. He says he loves me and is sure he will marry me but needs to live his full college experience so he is limiting our communication so that he can have a little freedom to live. On the same note he says he doesn’t want to change our bond and even if we take a “break” he will always be there for me and in the end it’ll always be about me because he doesn’t want to be with another girl.
Queenie, I am confused. Why is he not keeping our promise of maintaining our relationship? Do I really have to understand and give him some space or is he just acting immature? I really love him and I’m sure he loves me too, but shouldn’t he be showing it rather than being distant? How do I make him understand he is changing our bond with his behavior? Should I stick around?—Faraway girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Your boyfriend wants the security of knowing you will be there for him when (if) he is ready to settle down (hopefully, with you) but he also wants the freedom to play around and experiment with new things while he is away at school.
I suggest you follow his example – keep in touch with him, but feel free to have new experiences, possibly with new people you may meet while he is away. If the relationship the two of you have is strong enough, it will survive this separation. If it does not survive, you will not have wasted several years waiting for him while he has spent them growing away from you.
Dear Queenie,
I read the letter from “Smelly and Itchy” (Thursday, October 11). I had the same problem, but I tried using baking soda and it worked just fine, except for the part about mosquitoes not biting.
Queenie, just sayin’ …—Also smelly
Dear Also smelly,
As I said before, I suppose it cannot hurt to try. And, have you asked your doctor for advice?
Dear Queenie,
Recently I had an argument with a friend who said it was not right for me to let my husband take care of me and not go out and get a job and work like he does.
Queenie, he works all day at his job and I work all day taking care of the children and keeping the house clean and doing laundry and shopping for groceries and cooking and all like that.
What is a good answer I could have given her?—Happy housewife
Dear Housewife,
You could have told her just what you told me.
However, your friend may have been concerned because she thought you might not be prepared to cope financially if anything happens to your husband or if he loses his job.
Are you prepared for such a situation? If not, you should consider ways to prepare yourself, just in case. Consult a financial planner and, if necessary, find ways to continue your education.
You might also consider getting a part-time job one or two days (or evenings) a week to beef up your resumé just in case you ever need it. You might even find it interesting and enjoyable.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been living together for a couple of years and every time we visit his parents they ask me when I’m going to start giving them grandchildren. One time I told them it wouldn’t be until after we got married and now they ask when we’re going to get married and start giving them grandchildren.
Queenie, what’s a good answer to shut them up?—Don’t want kids
Dear Don’t want kids,
I doubt you will ever be able to shut them up on this subject. Just smile and tell them that when you are ready they will be the first ones you will tell, and then change the subject.
Dear Queenie,
I have a very strong body odor and even deodorants do not help much. I read somewhere that apple cider vinegar will stop the smell and also will keep mosquitoes from biting.
Queenie, is that true?—Smelly and itchy
