Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years since we finished high school. He has recently moved to another country for his tertiary education and now he isn’t acting the same anymore.
He always says he’s too busy to call me but leaves a message most times. He says he loves me and is sure he will marry me but needs to live his full college experience so he is limiting our communication so that he can have a little freedom to live. On the same note he says he doesn’t want to change our bond and even if we take a “break” he will always be there for me and in the end it’ll always be about me because he doesn’t want to be with another girl.
Queenie, I am confused. Why is he not keeping our promise of maintaining our relationship? Do I really have to understand and give him some space or is he just acting immature? I really love him and I’m sure he loves me too, but shouldn’t he be showing it rather than being distant? How do I make him understand he is changing our bond with his behavior? Should I stick around?—Faraway girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Your boyfriend wants the security of knowing you will be there for him when (if) he is ready to settle down (hopefully, with you) but he also wants the freedom to play around and experiment with new things while he is away at school.
I suggest you follow his example – keep in touch with him, but feel free to have new experiences, possibly with new people you may meet while he is away. If the relationship the two of you have is strong enough, it will survive this separation. If it does not survive, you will not have wasted several years waiting for him while he has spent them growing away from you.
