Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend wants me to move in with him and for us to live together for a while before we get married. I believe people should get married before they start living together.
He says we should get to know each other completely before we decide to make such a commitment. I think that making that commitment gives you more strength in solving relationship problems.
Queenie, what do you say?—Traditional woman
Dear Traditional woman,
I say you both have good reasons for your opinions on the subject and this is something the two of you will have to work out between you.
And, as always, I say professional counselling, separately and together, might help.
Dear Queenie,
I met a wonderful guy in one of my classes at university, but I’m afraid my parents won’t like him because he’s a lot older than me and divorced and has a school-age daughter from his marriage.
Queenie, how do I get my parents to understand that this is the man for me?—Co-ed in love
Dear Co-ed,
When you talk to your parents mention this wonderful guy to them, gradually tell them more and more about him, and eventually arrange for them to meet him in person. After that it will be up to your wonderful guy to persuade your parents to accept him as the man for you.
Meanwhile, you also should be getting to know him better and better. If he really is the man for you, your relationship with him will only become stronger over time.
Dear Queenie,
I work as a delivery man and very often people say, “Thank you,” when I give them their stuff.
Queenie, I never know how to answer them, I’m just doing my job. What should I say?—Delivery Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
When someone thanks you for anything, including just doing your job, it is always appropriate to say, “You’re welcome.” “Have a nice day” is another good response.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I are going to have our first child in a couple of months and we have been trying to decide on names for a boy or a girl. I was talking to my mother about this and mentioned a couple of the names we were thinking about and she immediately decided that she liked one of them.
She has been making all sorts of baby clothes and blankets and things for her first grandchild and now she is embroidering that name on them.
Queenie, what if we decide on a different name for the baby?—Mother-to-be
Dear Mother-to-be,
For that matter, if the name is gender-specific, what if the baby is of the other gender?
Thank your mother for her efforts and put the matter aside until the baby is born.
I do not think an infant will care what name is on his or her clothes, blankets and whatever. However, if you give him/her a different name and do not want to use the things your mother has made, put them away for the next child you may have or, if you think you will never use them, donate them to a charitable organisation.
Dear Queenie,
I get so disgusted when someone I’m with starts using their cell phone instead of talking to me. When they do that when we’re eating in a restaurant I just walk away and leave it up to them pay the bill.
Queenie, why are people so rude?—Cell phone Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Has it not occurred to you that they think you are being rude for just walking away and leaving the bill for them to pay?
In a case like this you should tell the person why you are leaving. Better yet, say something to them when they first reach for their cell phone.
