Dear Queenie,

  I’m going to be in high school next year and I haven’t ever had a girlfriend yet, but I know a lot of girls and I care about all of them.

  Queenie, when I have a girlfriend, will that mean I have to stop caring about other girls?—Young teenager

Dear Teenager,

  There are different degrees of love. When you are ready for a serious relationship, your feelings for that one woman will be much stronger than the feelings you have for girls now, and your feelings then for any other woman. And until that happens, you will not be ready to settle down with just one woman.

Dear Queenie,

  My wife has changed a lot recently. She gets mad for almost nothing and throws things and once she even hit me. I talked to her doctor but it didn’t help.

  Queenie, what more can I do?—Worried husband

Dear Husband,

  Sudden personality changes can be an indication of a serious medical problem. Talk to your wife’s doctor again. And if he (or she) does not take the matter seriously enough, get a second opinion from another doctor.

Dear Queenie,

  My girlfriend and I have been living together for a couple of years and she talks a lot about us getting married, but I’m not ready for that yet.

  Queenie, what can I say to change the subject when she starts that kind of talk? I don’t want to get married, but I don’t want to break up with her.—Reluctant boyfriend

Dear Boyfriend,

  Tell her what you have told me – that you just are not ready yet for that kind of commitment. And if she becomes angry and tries to force the issue, beware! That kind of behaviour could be a warning sign of a potential abuser (yes, women can abuse their male partners!).

Dear Queenie,

  When my husband and I got divorced I got half of everything we owned and my husband is mad about it because he was the one who had a job and brought home all the money. But I never had time to get a job because I took care of our children and helped them with their homework, and kept the home clean and cooked all the meals.

  My ex is a good father and I make sure he gets to see the kids as much as we agreed on, but he still gets mad about the division of our assets and the amount of child support and alimony he has to pay.

  Queenie, should I take less so maybe he will get over it?—Ex-wife

Dear Ex-wife,

  There is no assurance that your ex will “get over it” if you take less than you are entitled to.

  People often do not realise the value of the part you have played in your family life. They do not stop to think what it would cost them if they had to pay an outsider – a maid, a babysitter, a tutor – to do the work you have done. Perhaps an outside mediator could point these facts out to your ex.