Dear Queenie,
When you put forks, knives and spoons in the dishwasher which end should go up – the handle or the other end?—Dishwashing Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I think it is best to put such utensils in handle-up. Most people would prefer that when you take them out after they are washed you do not touch the part that is going to go in their mouth.
Dear Queenie,
Our two children both have children about the same age, both in preschool. Our granddaughter is much smarter than our grandson. The girl is about to enter kindergarten, but the boy is not ready for that.
Queenie, should her parents hold her back so she will be in the same class as her cousin?—Concerned grandparents
Dear Grandparents,
Little girls often progress faster than boys the same age. Your granddaughter should not be held back on account of her cousin. He will not care if his parents do not make an issue of it, and eventually he will catch up with his cousin. But all of this is up to their parents, and you, their grandparents, should stay out of it.
Dear Queenie,
My father died of an overdose of drugs when I was just a child. Sometimes when I am with my friends we start talking about our families and I just say my father died when I was very young and they will ask me how it happened.
Queenie, I don’t want to talk about what he did so I just say he was very sick, but what do I say if they ask for more details? I don’t want to be rude.—Orphaned son
Dear Son,
You are not obligated to give such people any personal information. Just tell them you would rather not talk about it, and change the subject.
Dear Queenie,
I lost all my hair because of chemotherapy for cancer. Now I wear a natural-looking wig and I get compliments on the color and style.
Queenie, what do I tell them when they ask me who is my hairdresser? I don’t want to tell them it’s a wig.—Embarrassed cancer survivor
Dear Embarrassed,
Tell the person who styles your wig that you get a lot of compliments on your hair style and would be willing to refer the people to her (or him) but do not want anyone to know you wear a wig. Most hairdressers are very good at keeping such secrets.
Dear Queenie,
I used to smoke marijuana for a while when I was in college, but I stopped before I graduated and I have never done it again.
Queenie, what should I tell my children when they ask me if I ever took drugs?—Ex-user
Dear Ex-user,
I do not believe anyone should ever lie to their children.
Tell your children that you tried it when you were in college, but did not like it and considered it a waste of your time. And tell them that as long as you are responsible for them you will not condone any such activity.
