Dear Queenie,
I'm studying abroad and my girlfriend is going to college at home. We decided to have a sort of open relationship – we could date other people but we set certain limits, like no sex with anyone else but each other.
When I was home on vacation she admitted that she got drunk once and had sex with her date. She feels very guilty and says she still loves me, but I know I didn't have sex with anyone while I was away and I had lots of chances.
Queenie, should I forgive her? And how can I trust her after this?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
Apparently you can trust her as long as she stays sober. The question is, can you trust her not to get drunk? More to the point, can you trust her not to drink at all? Because apparently she loses control when she starts drinking.
As for forgiving her, by all means. Forgiveness is a virtue, and is good for one's soul. Whether you should stay with her is another question, which only you can answer. If you have doubts, take a break from the relationship and see how you both feel about it.
