Dear Queenie,
I’m still living with my parents until I can find a job. I have my own room and most of my family respect my privacy and if my door is closed they knock or call out and wait for me to answer before they come in, but my mother just barges in whenever she feels like it, even if the door is closed, even the bathroom door.
I’ve tried to talk to her about it but then she accuses me of hiding the fact that I’m doing something I shouldn’t, which is not true. I could just be taking a shower or changing my clothes, or talking on the phone.
Queenie, how can I get through to her?—No privacy
Dear No privacy,
Your mother treated you this way when you were a child and cannot get it through her head that you have grown up. Ask your father to talk to her about this and hope he can get the message across.
Also, ask his permission (it is his house, after all) to install a lock on your door, even just a hook-and-eye on the inside, use it when necessary, and if (when) your mother complains, tell her she has been locked out because of her bad manners.
Then find some kind of job quickly so you can move out – and when you do, do not give your parents keys to your new home. But do give keys to someone you can trust to respect your privacy, in case of emergency.
