Dear Queenie,
A person I work with never gives a short answer to a question. They waste time going on and on about it and I can’t remember most of what they say.
Queenie, how do I get them to keep it short?—Sorry I asked
Dear Sorry,
When you ask them anything, also ask them to keep the answer brief because if they don’t you will not be able to remember a lot of what they say. Or, you can ask them to put the answer in writing. That way either they will be motivated to give a short answer or you will have their long answer in writing to refer to when you forget any of it.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been divorced for almost 15 years and I never know what to put on a form that asks for my marital status.
Queenie, should I still say “divorced” or can I start to say “single” again?—Questionnaire Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
No matter how long you have been divorced, you are still a divorcee – a person who used to be married. Calling yourself “single” is no longer accurate.
Dear Queenie,
My husband has a good job, so I don’t need to get a job to bring in more money. I spend my days keeping house and taking care of our children and doing volunteer work with a community group.
My husband thinks our house should be perfectly neat all the time and says I should spend less time volunteering and more time keeping the house clean, even though it is already perfectly clean and neat. I think he is being unrealistic.
Queenie, can you advise anything besides professional counselling?—Busy wife
Dear Wife,
All I can advise is professional counselling – for your husband, not for you. What he expects from you seems to be unrealistic at best, possibly controlling or even abusive at worst.
Dear Queenie,
The other day I nearly got hit by a car pulling out of a parking space because I was talking on my cell phone while I was walking behind it and the driver was talking on his phone at the same time.
Queenie, I will be more careful in the future. I just hope that driver will be more careful too! Maybe if you tell them … .—Better safe than sorry
Dear Better safe,
Here it is.
Especially when driving a car, DO NOT use your cell phone. You are driving a potentially lethal weapon, so keep all your attention on what you are doing and on your surroundings. Put your cell phone where you cannot reach it while you are driving so you will not be tempted to make or answer a call.
However, pedestrians also have a responsibility to pay attention to what is going on around them and not walk into danger, which means putting your cell phone away until you reach your destination, or stopping and standing or sitting in a safe place to make or answer a call.
Dear Queenie,
When I was little my mother’s boyfriend molested me. I told my mother and she broke up with him, but after a while they got together again and he molested me again and this time she stayed with him. In fact, they’re still together to this day.
Now I’m grown up and married and I have children of my own and I told my mother she can see the children when she visits us but I won’t let them go to her house as long as she is still with that man and since then we haven’t seen her at all.
Queenie, why would a woman choose a sexual predator over her own child and grandchildren?—Offended daughter
Dear Daughter,
Your mother is so afraid of being alone that her man is more important to her than anything else, including her daughter’s welfare.
The most important thing for you is to protect your children from the man who molested you. If your mother complains about not seeing her grandchildren, be sure to tell her – again and again, if necessary – exactly why it is so and that it will stay that way as long as she is with him in any way.
