Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I are both retired and we have been going out together for about a year. My only problem with her is that when we go out she is always looking at other men, younger ones, and this makes me feel uneasy and disrespected.
Queenie, is there any way I can get her to stop?—Unhappy older man
Dear Older Man,
It is as natural for a woman to notice attractive men as it is for a man to notice attractive women. If all she is doing is taking a quick look, you should not let it bother you. However, if she is staring, comparing them to you or even flirting with them, you should let her know that she is hurting your feelings and ask her not to do it when the two of you are together. Her reaction will tell you whether or not you have a serious problem.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine yells at his wife and says nasty things to her in front of other people when he has been drinking. I don’t know whether he has serious problems or if it’s just because he’s been drinking.
Queenie, is there anything I can do to help her?—Concerned friend
Dear Friend,
Apparently this man’s drinking is a serious problem if he cannot control his behaviour when he is “under the influence”. If you can persuade them to seek help, he could find help with Alcoholics Anonymous, she could find help with Al-Anon, and they apparently also could use the help of a professional marriage counsellor.
Dear Queenie,
One of the people where I work is on their phone all the time, looking at Facebook and reading and answering personal emails, but never actually doing any work. The rest of us have talked to our boss about this, but nothing changes.
Queenie, what more can we do?—Disgusted employee
Dear Disgusted,
You can continue to bring this up with your supervisor, but if this person is a relative of the owners, nothing is likely to change, so you will just have to accept the situation and try to ignore this person.
Dear Queenie,
What are you supposed to do after a funeral with all the plants and flowers that people send when someone dies?—In mourning
Dear In mourning,
They should be shared among the persons who are in mourning. When there are more plants and flowers than the mourners can appreciate, the excess can be donated to a nursing home or a home for the elderly or for disabled persons. And the original senders deserve to eventually receive “thank you” notes for their thoughtfulness.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been going together for several years and he comes to my home all the time and sometimes he stays overnight, but he never takes me to his house.
Queenie, his children live with him so I can understand his not having me stay overnight, but not even having me visit him there? What do you think?—Unhappy girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
I think your boyfriend is so worried about vexing his children that he lets them set the rules, and this is not likely to change. You will have to decide whether you are willing to put up with this kind of treatment, and then decide what, if anything, to do about it.
