Dear Queenie,
My work provides me with a secure income, minimal stress so I have no reason to complain. The fact that I work with 4 female colleagues should be the cherry on the cake, right? Unfortunately, this is not the case.
As we share one office space together, every day I am subjected to numerous stories ranging from dirty Pampers, no sleep at night, rebellious teenagers, booger competitions, etc., etc. One of the colleagues shares the same story every day.
Their partners are also included in this mind-numbing melee. They either work too many long hours, are never home, or once they are at home are only playing video games, etc. Bottom line: their partners never measure up.
In a couple of years, I will finally start enjoying my well-deserved retirement.
Queenie, how can I prevent them from engaging in this painful routine every day?—About to slit my wrists
Dear About to slit my wrists,
You poor fellow! I know exactly how you feel, having had considerable experience as the only (or almost only) woman in an office-full of men, where I was subjected to interminable conversation about sports, sports, sports, politics, porn and, oh yes!, complaints about wives/partners who “did not understand them” and/or always were “too tired” or “had a headache.”
Count your blessings: you have a stress-free job and a secure income, and are about to retire.
Do not let your colleagues spoil your last “golden years” in your pursuit of their mute button. You will not be able to change them, so instead change your own attitude. Each morning, ask them about their children and partners. This might lead to each of them being less of a chatterbox. No guarantees, of course, so you had better get used to it until your retirement!
Dear Queenie,
My work provides me with a secure income, minimal stress so I have no reason to complain. The fact that I work with 4 female colleagues should be the cherry on the cake, right? Unfortunately, this is not the case.
As we share one office space together, every day I am subjected to numerous stories ranging from dirty Pampers, no sleep at night, rebellious teenagers, booger competitions, etc., etc. One of the colleagues shares the same story every day.
Their partners are also included in this mind-numbing melee. They either work too many long hours, are never home, or once they are at home are only playing video games, etc. Bottom line: their partners never measure up.
In a couple of years, I will finally start enjoying my well-deserved retirement.
Queenie, how can I prevent them from engaging in this painful routine every day?—About to slit my wrists
Dear About to slit my wrists,
You poor fellow! I know exactly how you feel, having had considerable experience as the only (or almost only) woman in an office-full of men, where I was subjected to interminable conversation about sports, sports, sports, politics, porn and, oh yes!, complaints about wives/partners who “did not understand them” and/or always were “too tired” or “had a headache.”
Count your blessings: you have a stress-free job and a secure income, and are about to retire.
Do not let your colleagues spoil your last “golden years” in your pursuit of their mute button. You will not be able to change them, so instead change your own attitude. Each morning, ask them about their children and partners. This might lead to each of them being less of a chatterbox. No guarantees, of course, so you had better get used to it until your retirement!
Dear Queenie,
How can I know whether I am really good-looking? My friends say I would be if I would dress better and use makeup like they do and if I did I wouldn’t have any trouble attracting men. But I just don’t feel like that would jibe with the kind of person I am.
I have a good sense of humour, I’m good at conversation and I have lots of friends, but I don’t like to dress like a hussy and flirt just to get a man interested in me.
And, Queenie, why does it really matter if I am not what men think is gorgeous?—Not beautiful
Dear Not beautiful,
I suspect you are much better-looking than you think, but you downplay your looks to protect yourself from feeling rejected. There is that old saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but you have to give the beholder something that will catch his eye to begin with.
If you behave as though you believe you are attractive – and that means dressing the part as well as acting it – men will give you a second glance and you will have a chance to pick and choose the one(s) who also see your inner beauty.
Dear Queenie,
How can I know whether I am really good-looking? My friends say I would be if I would dress better and use makeup like they do and if I did I wouldn’t have any trouble attracting men. But I just don’t feel like that would jibe with the kind of person I am.
I have a good sense of humour, I’m good at conversation and I have lots of friends, but I don’t like to dress like a hussy and flirt just to get a man interested in me.
And, Queenie, why does it really matter if I am not what men think is gorgeous?—Not beautiful
Dear Not beautiful,
I suspect you are much better-looking than you think, but you downplay your looks to protect yourself from feeling rejected. There is that old saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but you have to give the beholder something that will catch his eye to begin with.
If you behave as though you believe you are attractive – and that means dressing the part as well as acting it – men will give you a second glance and you will have a chance to pick and choose the one(s) who also see your inner beauty.
Dear Queenie,
A few years ago, I was involved with a guy who I came to find out was having a baby with his so called “close friend.” I was devastated because he always told me she was a close family friend for years and that he did favors for her by babysitting her kids from time to time.
I was not interested in being in a love triangle or being cheated with or being cheated on, so I left him. After a few months, he contacted me saying that things did not work out and that he was still interested in me. I did not want to have anything to do with this guy. He kept persisting and said he was only with her for the sake of his daughter.
I was sceptical, so I met his woman. She was hurt, surprised and furious. I could clearly see that he was the apple of her eye, he could do no wrong.
He was seeing us both at the same time. She never knew of my relationship with him. Unfortunately, I came to find out that I was in the “other woman” category because she mentioned their times together, but he never bothered to include me in his family or friends’ affairs.
He blamed me for the difficult times he experienced after I talked to her. After a few years, we saw each other again, and he wanted us to be friends. I was not having that, because I did not want any trouble with anyone. I learned that they reconciled and are still going strong. I have talked to him a few times and told him not to call me.
What aggravates me the most is that he still goes around telling people how I was the one who did not want to accept the fact that what we had was over. I receive the blame up until this day and I am the recipient of rude remarks and unpleasant encounters with his female friends. As far as I know, he is in a committed relationship with his woman. I already apologized to her for my involvement even though it was not my fault.
Queenie, why do people always blame women for the disrespectful behavior of their own partners?—Clear conscience
Dear Clear conscience,
Because it is easier for them to blame “the other woman” than to admit to themselves that their partner/relative/friend could behave in such a despicable manner.
Anyone who knows you well should believe your side of the story. Why should you care about the opinions of strangers?
