Dear Queenie,
After I was dating this guy for a while I found out he already had a steady girlfriend before he started up with me, but he still kept seeing me because she wouldn’t sleep with him.
Finally I got mad about the situation and I told her about me and her boyfriend and then I dumped him, but she stuck with him and now I hear they are getting married.
Queenie, what do you think of that? I would never marry a man I knew might cheat on me because he had done it before.—Amazed
Dear Amazed,
You dumped this guy because of his behaviour towards you and his other woman. What she does about his behaviour is her business, not yours, at least not any more. Forget about both of them.
Dear Queenie,
I don’t smoke, but I’ve been dating a man who does. I like him a lot, except for his smoking because his clothes always smell of cigarette smoke and his breath is foul with it so I can’t stand kissing him.
He has asked me why I don’t want to kiss him and I make all sorts of excuses, like I have a cold or something, but he’s starting to wonder about it.
Queenie, should I tell him the truth?—Smoked out
Dear Smoked out,
By all means, tell him how his nicotine habit makes you feel. Try to do so as gently as possible, but let him know that his smoking offends you.
If he likes you well enough to try to break his habit, it will be for his own good as well as to soothe your feelings. The dangerous effects smoking can have on a person’s health are well documented, not to mention the dangers second-hand smoke pose to those around him.
Dear Queenie,
When you go out with someone, who is supposed to pay? Like if you go to the theatre, who buys the tickets, or at a restaurant who picks up the bill?—Dating Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
The person who issued the invitation for the occasion, however informally, should expect to pay, unless it is understood from the outset that it is to be a “Dutch treat” or if the outing is one in a long string of occasions in which the participants take turns paying.
Dear Queenie,
Someone I know is getting married for the 5th time and I’ve run out of ideas for a wedding gift.
Queenie, any suggestions?—Stumped
Dear Stumped,
I would think that by now this person has everything they could need, unless they lost it all in a divorce settlement. Of course, money – or a gift certificate – is always welcome.
Whatever else you decide to give this person, I would also suggest your best wishes for a successful marriage, and perhaps the name of a good marriage counsellor!
Dear Queenie,
A while after my boyfriend and I broke up I started dating again, nothing serious and with more than one guy.
Now all of a sudden my ex gets jealous and has a fit whenever I go out with anyone, but he’s not interested in getting back together with me, not that I would want it after the way he treated me.
Queenie, what’s with him? He doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want me to see anyone else.—Hassled
