Dear Queenie,
Recently something very upsetting happened to me at work. When I came home my husband asked me how was my day. I tried to tell him but he was watching sports on TV at the time and kept interrupting me to make comments about the game.
Queenie, why are men so unsympathetic?—Upset and offended
Dear Upset and offended,
As the saying goes (yes, dear readers, another one), "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus."
I understand why you were upset, but give your husband some credit for giving you a part of his attention when something as important (from his point of view) as a sporting event was going on. Probably he was wondering why you were so upset over whatever it was, and thought he was being very sympathetic by giving you any attention at all.
And let me ask you: When his favourite team loses an important (to him) match, do you give him your full attention and sympathy, or is your reaction something along the lines of, "Yes, dear, that's too bad. Now come help me with the dishes"?
Dear Queenie,
My husband's sister likes to entertain the whole family on every occasion. My problem is the way she does it.
The TV is on the whole time, so loud you can't hold a decent conversation without shouting over it and then someone will try to hush you up so they can hear the TV. Children are not welcome at the table, but have their own table in the kitchen and when they're done eating they have to go play in a bedroom. They can't even watch TV with the grownups. And the meal starts at 6:00pm sharp even if not everyone has arrived yet, and ends as soon as the hostess is done eating, after which you are expected to leave. And if I bring anything to eat as a hostess gift she hands it back to me when we leave.
Queenie, should I try to plan a party for them to show them how it should be done or would that just make them mad at me?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Obviously opinions differ as to how entertaining "should be done."
By all means plan your own event, but be sure to omit any sort of judgmental attitude. If you receive any comments about your different style of entertaining, just tell them, "This is the way we do it in my family," and let them draw their own conclusions.
If they learn from your example, fine. If not, that is their problem; do not make it yours.
Dear Queenie,
My boss is quite well-off, maybe you’d even call him rich. The problem is he’s always telling me about the things he has and how much they cost and the things he’s going to get and how much he’s going to spend on them – as if I care! To hear him tell, he spends more in a single month than he pays me for the whole year.
Queenie, how can I shut him up without losing my job?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
Tell him it is just amazing how much things cost these days and ask him for a raise.
Dear Queenie,
My husband's sister likes to entertain the whole family on every occasion. My problem is the way she does it.
The TV is on the whole time, so loud you can't hold a decent conversation without shouting over it and then someone will try to hush you up so they can hear the TV. Children are not welcome at the table, but have their own table in the kitchen and when they're done eating they have to go play in a bedroom. They can't even watch TV with the grownups. And the meal starts at 6:00pm sharp even if not everyone has arrived yet, and ends as soon as the hostess is done eating, after which you are expected to leave. And if I bring anything to eat as a hostess gift she hands it back to me when we leave.
Queenie, should I try to plan a party for them to show them how it should be done or would that just make them mad at me?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Obviously opinions differ as to how entertaining "should be done."
By all means plan your own event, but be sure to omit any sort of judgmental attitude. If you receive any comments about your different style of entertaining, just tell them, "This is the way we do it in my family," and let them draw their own conclusions.
If they learn from your example, fine. If not, that is their problem; do not make it yours.
Dear Queenie,
My boss is quite well-off, maybe you’d even call him rich. The problem is he’s always telling me about the things he has and how much they cost and the things he’s going to get and how much he’s going to spend on them – as if I care! To hear him tell, he spends more in a single month than he pays me for the whole year.
Queenie, how can I shut him up without losing my job?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
Tell him it is just amazing how much things cost these days and ask him for a raise.
