Dear Queenie,
When someone says something my wife doesn’t agree with she doesn’t listen to them or argue with them, she just starts talking about something else. Once when they kept on talking about what she didn’t want to hear she actually put her hands over her ears and walked away.
Queenie, how do you deal with someone like that?—Stumped
Dear Stumped,
Your wife sounds rather childish. Covering the ears and going “la la la la la” is what kindergarten children do.
When she does it to you, just say “Yes, dear,” change the subject and go ahead and do whatever it was she did not want to hear about. If she complains later, remind her that you tried to talk to her about it and she refused to listen. Hopefully, she eventually will get the message – hopefully!
Dear Queenie,
I married my girlfriend when she got pregnant so the baby would have a proper family to grow up in and things were just great at first, but since then she’s had 2 more babies and now she’s pregnant again and I just don’t see how we can afford it.
We’re still young and there should be more to life than working and taking care of babies, but she’s supposed to be on the pill and yet she keeps getting pregnant again.
Queenie, how can I get her to be more careful?—Worn out
Dear Worn out,
Just why do you put all the responsibility for birth control on your wife?
It takes two to make a baby. If you do not want to have any more children, it is up to you to take charge of the birth control question and make certain that you do not get your wife pregnant. If by now you still do not know how to do this, have a serious talk with your family physician.
Dear Queenie,
I’m still in high school, going with a guy who graduated last year. Since he graduated and we’re not in school together anymore he’s gotten very jealous and keeps saying mean things like I’m getting fat (not true) and he doesn’t want me talking to anyone else, even my older brother.
I love him and I keep hoping things will get better, but it just isn’t happening.
Queenie, how can I get him to lighten up?—Unhappy girl
Dear Unhappy,
I doubt that you can. Your boyfriend has all the characteristics of an abusive personality and is not likely to change no matter how much you wish for it.
Get away from him as fast as you can, before he escalates into physical abuse, if he has not done so already. Ask your parents for help if necessary.
Dear Queenie,
My elderly parents still live in their own home. They are not as strong as they used to be and as they are getting older there are also certain medical issues to consider, but they refuse ever to ask for help when they need it.
They won’t even call me, let alone an ambulance, if one of them falls down, for example, even though it may not be simply a fall but maybe a heart attack or a stroke or the person broke a bone when they fell or something like that.
Queenie, how can I get them to call for help when they need it?—Worried son
Dear Worried son,
If your parents are accustomed to taking care of themselves they probably are reluctant to give up their independence.
St. Rose Hospital or the Women’s Desk should be able to put you in touch with the White and Yellow Cross Foundation and whatever other relevant services for the elderly, such as the visiting nurse, that could help you out with this problem.
Especially the visiting nurse service might be a good idea, as the nurse could check up on your parents every day and once they go to know the person(s) involved your parents might be less reluctant to call on them for help.
Dear Queenie,
I have an odd family name and people often have trouble pronouncing and spelling it, so I have gotten in the habit of repeating it and spelling it for them. Someone once told me I don’t have to do that, they’re not stupid.
Queenie, am I being rude?—Unpronounceable name
Dear Unpronounceable,
No, you are trying to be helpful, but you may come across as being a bit snotty. Why not wait a moment to see if the person is having difficulty before you repeat your name, and ask them if they want you to before you spell it for them?
