Dear Queenie,
My son is in high school. Most of his friends that he hangs out with are girls. He has some friends who are boys, but they are also friends with other boys my son doesn’t like very much, so he doesn’t hang out with them when they are with those other boys. Also, he isn’t into sports very much, he prefers reading and computer games.
Queenie, should I be worried about him?—Concerned mother
Dear Mother,
Some boys just are not athletic and do not like the kind of roughhousing other boys their age indulge in, so they feel less threatened in the company of girls.
I am glad to know your son likes to read as well as playing computer games, which can be addictive.
As long as he is happy and is doing well in school I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
Dear Queenie,
My first wife and I got divorced many years ago and eventually she remarried, to a man much richer than I am. Now our daughter is getting married and they are planning a fancy expensive wedding, much more than I can afford.
Queenie, do I have to pay half the cost of this wedding even though I have no say in the wedding plans?—Wedding woes
Dear Wedding woes,
You have no obligation to pay anything toward your daughter’s wedding, especially if you have not been included in the planning thereof, unless such obligation is spelled out in your divorce agreement. However, it would be decent of you to contribute what you can afford. Figure out what that amount is and inform your ex and your daughter how much you will give them, and why only that much.
Dear Queenie,
My father is drunk half the time and when he gets drunk he gets nasty.
My wife is pregnant with our first child and we would like the baby to know its grandfather, but not when he is drunk.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Father-to-be
Dear Father-to-be,
Talk to your father about your concerns and see if you can persuade him to try to sober up for the baby’s sake. If he is willing to try, put him in touch with Alcoholics Anonymous – see Agenda on page 2 of this newspaper for contact information and schedule of meetings.
And until you are certain he has his drinking under control, do not allow your father to be with the baby unsupervised.
Dear Queenie,
I do private tutoring and very often a student will miss a session and then the parents don’t want to pay. That is a financial loss for me, because I could have been working with someone else in that time if I hadn’t reserved it for the one who didn’t show up.
Queenie, shouldn’t they have to pay for missed sessions?—Cheated
Dear Cheated,
Of course they should pay if they miss a session without sufficient advance notice. But you will have to make it clear to the parents from the start that this is your policy and how much advance notice you will expect. And inform your current students’ parents of this new policy at least a month before you put it into effect, to give them a chance to adjust to it.
Dear Queenie,
I was at a friend’s dinner party the other night and when I looked around half the guests were too busy messing around on their cell phones to talk to the other guests. When I tried to make conversation with someone next to me they got mad at me for interrupting what they were doing on their cell phone.
I was so disgusted that I asked them right out why they bothered to come to the party if they weren’t going to talk to anyone and I said if they were just going to be on their cell phones all night they might as well have stayed at home.
Queenie, what’s wrong with them?—Too much tech
Dear Too much tech,
In effect, they are so “addicted” to their gadgets that they get uncomfortable if they have to let go of them for more than a few minutes. Also, they become so accustomed to communicating via their devices that they seem to lose the ability to interact with others directly in person.
I have often been tempted to invest in a cell phone “scrambler” that would make my home a “dead zone” for cell phone communication for the duration of an event I am hosting. I have not done so as yet, but the temptation is getting stronger and stronger.
