Dear Queenie,
My young adult daughter can’t seems to get it right with men. Her choices for the last three years have been almost destructive. This current relationship, just eight months old, if you ask me he is controlling, psychotic and abusive. Every time she tries to leave, he charms her right back to him.
To add insult to injury she just found out she is pregnant and that is his passport to her. Last month there was a falling out and he brought all her clothes by me only to want her back the next day. He went on a rampage destroying things in the house, wrecking his two vehicles because he could not find her. He put a tracking device on her phone and appears everywhere – doctor’s appointment, SZV, police station, you name it, he is there.
He is unemployed since last December for fighting on the job and can’t seem to find his way back on the job wagon.
My advice to her was: Child or no child, let this be your escape. As much as I hate it, I cannot stop you from speaking to him but please do not go back to live with him. Take time and phase out the relationship.
Queenie, do you think I am right or should I just stay out as he claimed?—Suffocating Mom
Dear Suffocating Mom,
I think you are exactly right, but you cannot force your adult daughter to take your advice.
If she is afraid to leave this man, or to stay away from him, refer her to Safe Haven (office tel. 9277, 24-hour hotline number 9333, or (721) 523-6400; e-mail This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Facebook: SafeHavenSt.Maarten) for assistance.
And be sure she knows you will be there to support her when she needs you, whatever decision she makes.
Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who always asks me what I think she should wear to an event and then tells me not to wear something she thinks is too much like what she is going to wear.
Queenie, I don’t mind giving advice, but I don’t like being told what I should or shouldn’t wear. What do you say?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
By all means give your friend advice when she asks for it. However, feel free to simply ignore her instructions as to what you should or should not wear.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been offered a terrific job on another island and my wife and I have decided it is too good to pass up and we are going to make the move.
The problem is my wife’s sister. She insists that we are going to ruin her life and if we leave she will have nothing to do with us ever again. Her angry attitude has my wife terribly upset and I am afraid they will be permanently estranged.
Queenie, have I ruined my wife’s relationship with her sister? What should I do?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
You have not ruined this relationship. Your sister-in-law is solely responsible for that and if you give in to her now she will be trying to run your lives forever.
You and your wife should do what is best for the two of you. Your sister-in-law can learn to like it (or at least live with it) or “lump it.”
Dear Queenie,
When I was studying for a test I found a book online about the subject of the test. When I started to read the book I realised that it was word-for-word the same as the essay someone else in my class turned in on the subject and got an A for.
Obviously that person copied the book while the rest of us didn’t do so well.
Queenie, should I tell the teacher?—High school student
Dear Student,
By all means bring this to the teacher’s attention. But rather than just telling him (or her) about it, give your teacher a copy of the online book, or at least the relevant passages, along with the information needed to find the entire book online. After that it is up to the teacher to take appropriate measures.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend has a dog that he loves even more than me. He even wants it to sleep on our bed.
Queenie, isn’t that just too much?—Jealous of the dog
Dear Jealous,
As much as I love animals, it would be too much for me too.
Does your boyfriend know how you feel about this? If not, tell him and see what he has to say. And then you will have to decide whether you can live with his answer or have to find a new boyfriend.
