Dear Queenie,
Every so often someone I know will say they will see me at such and such an event that I haven’t been invited to.
Queenie, I don’t want to embarrass the person, or the host who hasn’t invited me. What can I say in such a case?—Excluded Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
People cannot be expected to invite everyone they know to every event they plan to host, so it is no embarrassment to anyone to simply say you have not been invited. However, you can always avoid being specific and simply say you are sorry, but you are not going to be there, without saying why.
Dear Queenie,
I have never had a boyfriend but there is this guy in my class that I like and I think he is interested in me too but I don’t know what to do about it.
Queenie, do I let him know how I feel or keep it a secret and hope he makes the first move?—Inexperienced
Dear Inexperienced,
Talk to him when you get a chance, maybe eat lunch with him, ask his advice about your homework or some subject of mutual interest and see if you get to be friends with him. If that happens, keep it up and see if it develops into something more. But do not chase him too hard, or you might scare him off.
Dear Queenie,
My mother always complains that she does not receive thank-you notes from my children when she gives them gifts, but never once have we received such a note from her when we gave her anything or did something for her.
Queenie, shouldn’t she be setting a good example before she complains?—Thank-you Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Of course she should! You might point this out to her then next time she complains (for whatever good it will do). Meanwhile, make sure you are setting the good example she is not, and keep after your children to do what is right no matter how Grandma behaves.
Dear Queenie,
I know my girlfriend dated other guys before me and thinking about what she did with them bothers me, but when I try to talk to her about it she gets upset. I’m trying not to think about it, but I just can’t get the thoughts out of my mind.
Queenie, am I wrong to be bothered about this?—Uptight
Dear Uptight,
You are not wrong to be bothered by the idea, but it is a big mistake to keep trying to talk to your girlfriend about it. How would you like it if she kept bringing up the subject of your previous girlfriends?
Let the subject go, and if you have trouble doing so, talk to a professional counsellor about it, not your girlfriend.
Dear Queenie,
Three Sundays ago I went with my boyfriend deep sea fishing. Nice adventure, we thought, not really knowing what to expect.
They caught a Blue Marlin (3.2-meter). So horrible. That fish was fighting for his life for 40 minutes on the hook. They didn’t want to cut the line. It was like killing a human. Going in their territories and killing them just to sell the huge fish for $1,900 to a S' Bay restaurant. They should go jail for this.
Queenie, is there a way to stop these cruel killings?—Adventure went horror
Dear Horrified,
I understand your feelings, but really, I have to ask you: What did you expect? The whole purpose of such an excursion is to catch a fish. Did you think that if they caught a fish the fish would give up without a fight? That if they caught a fish and it resisted the fishermen would just let it go?
The only way to stop this kind of event is for everyone to stop going on such excursions, stop eating fish at restaurants and stop buying fish-meat in supermarkets – and you know as well as I do, that is not going to happen.
