Dear Queenie,
What’s wrong with women?
A woman I dated was a real feminist, so I gave her a book about the feminist movement and she got mad at me because it meant I expected something more from her.
Another time when I was in a relationship with a girl for several months I told her how much in love with her I was and she got mad and said she didn’t want to be tied down. I wasn’t asking for anything in return, I just wanted to tell her how I felt.
Later I started dating again and met a wonderful woman I liked so much I sent her flowers where she worked. She got mad too.
Queenie, don’t women believe in romance anymore? Or what is wrong with me?—Bewildered

Dear Bewildered,
I do not think there is anything wrong with you, but apparently your approach to women is “too much too soon.” Real life is not the same as the things you read in books or see on TV or in the movies.
Try taking more time to get to know a woman before “coming on strong” the way you have described. And sending romantic gestures to a woman’s workplace is not usually a good idea. Many women prefer to keep their private lives private where they work.

Dear Queenie,
My big brother used to molest me when I was little. When my parents finally found out they tried to defend him and insisted that now he is grown up he will never do anything like that again.
Now he is married and I am afraid if they have children he will molest them like he did me. My parents don’t want me to say anything to his wife for fear of breaking up their marriage.
Queenie, what should I do?—Brother’s victim

Dear Victim,
By all means tell your sister-in-law before they have children. She should know what kind of protection her children will require. And perhaps fear of losing his wife will persuade your brother to get professional counselling to try to overcome, or at least learn to control, his base impulses.

Dear Queenie,
My father has a habit of touching my hand or arm all the time when he is talking to me. I don’t like it I’ve asked him not to do it, but he just goes on doing it.
Queenie, is this usual behaviour or should I be really offended?—Touch-me-not

Dear Touch-me-not,
This may just be a sign of affection, or it may be that he feels he needs to do it to keep your attention on whatever he is saying. Try to focus more intently on your father when he is talking to you. Look straight at him, listen to him carefully and respond appropriately to what he is saying, and see if that does not help.

Dear Queenie,
I’m still in high school but I’m pregnant. My mother doesn’t want me to have anything more to do with the baby’s father because she thinks he treated me badly and she’s afraid he will do the same to the baby. She also thinks he will just walk out on me sooner or later, because he is also in high school and probably will be going away to college.
She also doesn’t want me to have anything to do with his parents because that will keep me in touch with him.
Queenie, is she right?—Teenage mother

Dear Teenager,
When you say your baby’s father treated you badly, do you mean he abused you, either physically or emotionally? If so, your mother is right to keep you away from him and as your baby’s mother it will be up to you to protect your child.
As for your baby-daddy’s parents, whether you let them see their grandchild depends on how they treat you and the baby. If they are abusive like their son, keep away from them, but if they treat you and the baby well visit them, or let them visit you, under circumstances that do not include their son.