Dear Queenie,

  My father and my fiancée’s mother met while we were planning our wedding and now they tell us they have been seeing each other for a while and now they are getting engaged and plan to be married next year.

  Queenie, is it okay for me and my wife to be married if my father is married to her mother?—Worried son-in-law

Dear Son-in-law,

  If your father marries your mother-in-law, you and your wife will become step-brother and -sister, which is not a “blood” relationship and would not prevent the two of you from marrying each other if you had not already done so.

  I admit the situation may be difficult to explain to people who do not already know you, but it may even make an interesting topic of conversation.

Dear Queenie,

  My husband is not usually a big drinker, but when he goes out with his friends who are, he gets drunk with them and then he drives home drunk, which scares me to death until he gets home safe. Except when he is with these friends he hardly ever drinks at all.

  Queenie, is there any way to handle this?—Sober wife

Dear Wife,

  Have you talked this over with your husband? Perhaps he does not realise how worried you are about him.

  When he is out with these friends he could tell them he will not drink anything alcoholic because he is the “designated driver.” Or he could quietly order non-alcoholic beverages.

  If he is unable to refuse to get drunk with his friends he has a drinking problem, whether or not he admits it. Alcoholics Anonymous (see Agenda, page 2 of this newspaper) might be able to help him if you can persuade him to get in touch with them, and Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) might help you learn to cope with his problem.

Dear Queenie,

  When is the right time to put up Christmas decorations? When the stores start selling them? After the United States Thanksgiving Day, which is the fourth Thursday in November?

  Queenie, what would be correct in St. Maarten?—Holiday spirit

Dear Holiday spirit,

  This year there are five Thursdays in November and Thanksgiving Day is three days more than a month before Christmas, which seems to me a bit early for Christmas decorations. In my opinion, any time after the first week of December would be appropriate for putting up Christmas decorations.

  And you might want to note, some people take down their decorations during the week after Christmas, while others wait until after Twelfth Night, also known as Three Kings Day, which is January 6.

Dear Queenie,

  My mother is a wonderful person and we all love her very much, but she does love to boss us around and she always wants everything done her way, even if we would prefer something different – not better or worse, just different.

  Now she wants to go on a long vacation trip with us and we know it won’t even be before a day has gone by that she will make us crazy.

  Queenie, how do we say “no,” that we love her but we don’t want to travel with her?—Annoyed daughter

Dear Daughter,

  Some parents are so in the habit of telling their children what to do and how to do it that they do not – or cannot – stop once the children have grown up.

  When she starts “bossing you around” tell her – as sweetly as you can manage – “Mom, I am all grown up now and I prefer to do it my way – and it is very annoying when you treat me like a child.” Hopefully, she will (eventually) get the message and learn to change her ways, at least a little bit.