Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been going together for almost a year and every time we go somewhere it’s always up to me to make all the plans for the outing.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I wish sometimes he would be the one to make the plans.
Queenie, how can I get him to do it?—Tired of planning
Dear Tired,
Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about this? Ask him where he would like to go, what he would like to do, and suggest that he make the arrangements and surprise you. And once he has done it, be sure to tell him how much you enjoyed the outing. Maybe all he needs is a little encouragement.
Dear Queenie,
I have a lot of tattoos that I like a lot. I cover them up when I have to, but not always when I’m out in public and sometimes people comment on them and even tell me they are ugly and that I have ruined myself by having them.
Queenie, what is a polite way to answer them?—Tattooed woman
Dear Tattooed woman,
Why try to be polite to someone who is being so rude to you? If you do not want to be rude in return, just say something like “Thank you for your concern.”
But also feel free to tell them, “I may be ugly for having tattoos, but you are rude for making such a comment about them.”
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I used to have sex quite often, but not lately. Except for that we have a great relationship, but my feelings are hurt and I have to wonder why he doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore.
Queenie, what should I do?—Worried girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
You should be asking your boyfriend this question. Do not be confrontational, but ask him what has changed and what, if anything, you can do about it. Be sure to let him know how much you care about him, and that you hope he feels the same way about you.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter is smart and beautiful and earns a good living. She has had a couple of long-term relationships over the years, but never got married.
So, Queenie, what do I tell people when they ask me if she’s married and has children?—Proud mother
Dear Mother,
Tell them what you have told me: how successful your daughter is and how happy she is with her (single) life. Then change the subject by asking them about their children.
Dear Queenie,
My sister’s daughter is getting married in another country next winter and we will have to get passports to go there. It will be an expensive trip and we will never use the passports again.
Queenie, do we have to go?—Wedding Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
You are not obligated to attend any wedding, especially if the trip will be a financial problem. For that matter, if the COVID-19 pandemic is still going on at the time, travel may still be restricted and you may not be allowed to make the trip.
RSVP with your regrets, and send the happy couple as nice a gift as you can afford.
