Dear Queenie,
I work for someone who is, to put it politely, chaotic. My boss frequently forgets instructions she has given. She says messages were never received – only to later admit she didn’t check the app or the e-mail where they were sent. She responds to external clients without having all the information, which then creates confusion we have to clean up. The most difficult part? She blames others when tasks are incomplete – even when those tasks were clearly hers. Meetings are rescheduled last minute. Deadlines shift depending on her memory. When mistakes surface, the narrative subtly changes. I find myself documenting everything just to protect myself. Screenshots. Follow-up emails. Written summaries after verbal instructions. I respect hierarchy. I understand leadership is stressful. But this feels less like pressure and more like disorder. I don’t want to be insubordinate. I don’t want to escalate unnecessarily. But I also refuse to quietly carry responsibility for chaos I did not create. How do you work under a leader who creates instability and then shifts blame? —Trying to Stay Professional
Dear Trying to Stay Professional,
You are not describing stress. You are describing disorganisation with authority. When a leader forgets instructions, fails to check messages, responds externally without full information, and shifts responsibility downward, the issue is not workload – it is systems failure. You cannot change her personality. You can change your exposure. You are already doing the correct thing: document everything. Follow verbal instructions with written confirmation: “Per our discussion, I will complete X by Friday. You will handle Y.” If she claims not to have received something, resend calmly: “Resending here for ease of reference.” No sarcasm. No emotion. Just paper trail. When she responds externally without full information, protect yourself by copying her on clarifying emails: “Adding additional details here to ensure alignment.” Professional. Neutral. Visible. If she blames you for incomplete work that was hers, gently restate facts: “That task was assigned to you on [date], but I’m happy to support if needed.” You are not correcting her. You are recording reality. The goal is not to win arguments. It is to prevent misattribution. Chaotic leaders often rely on the silence of capable staff. Do not become silent. Become precise. If instability continues to impact your reputation, consider requesting clearer workflow systems in a neutral tone: “It might help us to have shared task tracking so nothing falls through.” You are not insubordinate for protecting your professional standing. You are responsible. In unstable environments, clarity is your shield. Use it. —Queenie
